Sarah vs Jeffster
by BillAtWork
Summary: Chuck needs the Buy More to be profitable to fund the struggling Carmichael Industries. Having a Jeffster concert might be a draw. The one problem, Jeffster is not really a draw. Every rock band needs a draw, right? And what better draw than a half dressed smoking hot blonde playing the tambourine and bouncing around the stage? I mean, look what it did for Brittney Spears.
1. The New Jeffster

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I've been toying with this idea for a while. And okay, this is pure silliness. Not to be taken seriously. Or is it?_

_We're at the beginning of Season 5. Chuck needs the Buy More to be profitable to fund the struggling Carmichael Industries. Having a Jeffster concert might be a draw. The one problem, Jeffster is not really a draw. Every rock band needs a draw, right? And what better draw than a half dressed smoking hot blonde playing the tambourine and bouncing around the stage. I mean, look what it did for Brittney Spears._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**Sarah vs Jeffster**

x-x-x-x-x

"So what are we going to do?"

Sarah looked at her husband carefully. She hadn't seen him this depressed in a long, long time, certainly not since they had been officially together. So she reached over and grabbed one of the hands he had his face buried in. "Don't worry, Chuck," she said soothingly. "We'll figure something out. We've been in a lot worse spots."

"The CIA freezing our assets has us in a very bad situation," Chuck sighed. "We need for the Buy More to become more profitable. That would take the pressure off of C.I. for a while until we become more established and can compete head on with Verbanski."

Sarah smiled at her husband. "That's a good idea," she said. "The problem is that the Buy More barely breaks even. They've always made a small profit, but certainly not enough to fund Carmichael Industries. That's been true for years. We knew that when we bought it. We'd have to increase sales. Any ideas on how we do that?"

Finally Chuck's eyes got back a little of their normal twinkle. "Not really," he said. "We have to do something to drive traffic to the store. Jeff keeps bugging me about doing a promotional Jeffster concert. That normally would be a good idea. The problem is that they… they…"

"They suck?" Sarah finished his thought. "I know that maybe I'm not an expert on music. But…"

"They really suck," Chuck agreed sadly. "You're right about that. It wouldn't be much of a promotion. We need a gimmick."

"A gimmick?" Sarah asked. "What kind of gimmick? Maybe we could sell earplugs. That might turn a profit."

That didn't get the laugh Sarah expected. "Lot's of rock bands suck," Chuck said. "Well maybe not as bad as Jeffster. But historically they all came up with some other reason to draw people. Kiss painted their faces. Alice Cooper dressed up like some goth version of a woman. Britney Spears…"

Seeing Chuck trail off in thought suddenly had Sarah interested. "Okay," she said. "Who is Britney Spears and what did she do?"

Chuck didn't answer. He just pushed a few keys on his laptop and a video started playing. "She did this," he said with a smile.

Now Sarah understood. "Ah," she said. "I get it. Sex. I should have known. This looks like a scene right out of 'Inducement of Enemy Personnel' training."

"Exactly," Chuck said, his smile turning into a growing grin.

Sarah locked eyes with him. "Chuck," she said in horror. "No way. Come on. I don't know a thing about music."

"Listen closely for a minute," Chuck said. "Tell me. Does she know a thing about music? All you can hear has been electronically altered. And she was a huge, huge star. The truth is that you're much prettier than she is. You're ten times a much better dancer. I've heard you sing. You actually have a nice voice. Whatever notes you can't hit, we can always alter. And not to be indelicate, but who would care anyway? They'd be too busy watching you dance around the stage. You can't claim to be shy. You're already used to wearing skimpy outfits in public. I'm telling you, this would work."

Sarah was clearly not convinced. "You know that I would do anything to help," she said. "Are you sure you'd be okay with this? It might get pretty wild."

"I'm okay with you being in the band," Chuck said. "By definition, it's a performance. If you actually do get famous, we'll have to talk about the whole sex, drugs, and rock and roll thing. But I can't ever picture you getting sucked into that culture."

"You're right about that," Sarah sighed. "Okay. What exactly would I have to do?"

Chuck had already retrieved his guitar from the bedroom. "Let's work on some things," he said. "I'll pretend that I'm Lester."

That got Sarah laughing. At least Chuck was in a better mood. That had to be a good thing, right? "Lester, huh?" she asked. "I'll pretend I just took a shower."

That got Chuck laughing helplessly as well. Clearly he was in a much, much better mood. At least the twinkle in his eyes said so. "Maybe we should work on your appearance first," he said. "I've heard that it helps performing in front of a large crowd if you practice naked."

Chuck was teasing her. Sarah knew that. And normally she would have made fun of the lame attempt to get her naked. Not this time. They had been spending all of their time since getting back from their honeymoon trying to get Carmichael Industries off the ground. That combined with the financial tension of the past few weeks had made quite a dent in their sex life, a sex life that Sarah had grown completely dependant on. Truth be told, if she could parlay this practice time into a trip to the bedroom, well she was going to be totally prepared to take full advantage. "I have heard that," she agreed.

Sarah had no choice but to grin at his wide surprised eyes seeing her clothes quickly hit the floor. "Understand something," she said as soon as she was wearing only the grin.

"I'm not pretending that you're Lester anymore."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck and Sarah stood outside listening while Jeff and Lester were just finishing up a song. Morgan had obtained permission from Chuck to allow them to use the employee break room to practice after the store closed.

"Oh my God," Sarah giggled. "Is this a good idea? Will anybody come to listen to those guys?"

"Of course not," Chuck agreed. "Don't underestimate yourself. They are going to come to see and listen to you. I can't believe how well you did. Right now, you could be the headliner. We'll have to find a solo for you to sing."

"You're a much better singer than any of us," Sarah said. "Maybe you should join the band."

"Nobody would come to see me," Chuck said. "You were amazing. Besides, I'll be busy doing the electronics."

"You were pretty amazing too, stud," Sarah teased. "Unfortunately, I think you were talking about the singing. Or maybe not. Was your performance in bed this afternoon what I can expect from all of my groupies? Or just you? I think I'm going to like being a rock star."

That got them both laughing. "Yeah," Chuck said. "About that. I think you probably know my position on groupies. We probably should limit this particular discussion to just band type stuff. Once he sees how you're barely dressed, Lester is going to be even more impossible to control than he already is."

Sarah just grinned at him. "Don't worry about controlling Lester," she said.

"I've got this one."

x-x-x-x-x

"What are you talking about?" Lester asked, like only Lester could. "We're in the middle of rehearsing."

"Actually, you haven't started yet," Chuck said. "That was the old band. We've decided you need some help. Meet your new backup vocalist."

Jeff and Lester both looked at each other in confusion. "Backup vocalist?" Jeff finally asked. "Can she sing?"

"She's amazing," Chuck said. "Besides, look at her. Does it really matter?"

For the first time the guys realized how Sarah was dressed. Lester looked at her much like a hungry wolf would look at a wounded deer. "This might be interesting," he said with a smirk. "Tell me, what's in this for me?"

Suddenly Lester found himself pressed against the wall with Sarah's left forearm across his throat. Sarah grabbed her left wrist with her right hand and used it as leverage to press even harder for a moment, just to prove to him that she had total control. Not that any proof was needed. Lester's wide eyes indicated his total surrender.

"What's in this for you?" Sarah asked sarcastically. "How about the privilege of keeping both of your testicles? I've seen how you two walk over everybody. I'm not blind. Let's get something straight. I'm not Chuck. I'm not Morgan. I'm not even Big Mike. Those guys were far too nice to deal with you effectively. Trust me, that's not at all how anybody would ever describe me. I may look like the girl next door, but if you mess with me, even a little bit, it'll be the biggest mistake of your pathetic life. We are now the new Jeffster. You're the lead vocalist. Chuck is our manager and Technical Director. But make no mistake. When we're together, I'm completely in charge. When I tell you to jump, I don't want you to pause to ask how high. To sell this, you and I are going to have to interact on stage quite a lot and somewhat intimately. That might give the impression to some that we are developing a romantic relationship. In fact, Chuck tells me that illusion would be good publicity for us. But if you ever, and I mean literally ever, take advantage of that and do anything that approaches inappropriate, your going to wake up some morning and discover that your left testicle has somehow become detached from your body and has mysteriously found it's way into my purse. If you think that was hyperbole in any way or an idle threat, you're ever stupider than I thought. Tell me, Lester, do we fully understand each other?"

Lester was far too frightened to do anything except nod… as much as Sarah's arm across his throat would allow anyway.

Sarah turned her angry glare towards Jeff, who was standing there in shock with his mouth hanging open. "You?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Jeff said, his voice no more than a whisper.

It was like someone turned on a light switch. "Good," Sarah said as she smiled and gently helped Lester to a seat.

"This isn't all bad," Chuck said soothingly. "Sarah has a real chance to make you successful. Think about it. Imagine Sarah as your wingman. If she wants to, she could really help you out with the ladies."

Lester finally had recovered his wits enough to speak. "You'd do that?" he asked.

Sarah's smile simply lit up the room. "Maybe," she said. "If you behave I might be talked into rewarding you. Let's face some facts. I can get you women that you would normally never have a chance with. And I can make those groupies frantic to please you in any way you would choose, if you know what I mean."

In negotiations there is a point where the offer is great and it's time to close. Jeff and Lester locked eyes. The sparkle said that point had clearly been left standing in the dust. It was Jeff who formalized it. "Deal," he said. "What do we do now?"

"We practice," Chuck said. "Let's take our first set from the top. Lester, sing the songs just like you normally do. Sarah will join in on some of the choruses. If it doesn't work, we'll stop and figure it out." Chuck grinned at the eager looks.

"Welcome to the new Jeffster."

x-x-x-x-x

_A/N: If you're a Kiss or Alice Cooper fan, I didn't mean to imply that they aren't talented. Britney Spears fans… deal with it, lol._

_I planned on this being a one shot. But there is some more story to possibly tell. Can Sarah make the band popular? Does she like being a rock star? Can she really get hot women for Jeff and Lester? Does their success alter the plans for Carmichael Industries? Does it affect their marriage? Plans for a family?_

_I don't know the answers, lol._

_If there is enough interest, maybe we'll find out together._

x-x-x-x-x


	2. Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I'm going to try one more chapter of this. If there isn't any more interest, I'll stop._

_The first chapter was pure silliness. This one will be more serious. There is a movie, Rock Star with Mark Walberg and Jenifer Aniston. It was the story of an average guy who suddenly finds himself a rock star. He quickly gets sucked into the wild culture of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He ultimately decides that the fame and fortune isn't worth it if you lose your very self in the process._

_Sarah seems pretty immune to that risk. After all, she was in the C.A.T. Squad for a few years. She probably regularly saw debauchery from the girls that make an after rock concert party look like a Sunday School Class. Chuck is different. I could see Chuck enjoying the party atmosphere, maybe a little too much._

_Note that I don't write relationship angst. This won't be that. Chuck would never, ever even think about cheating on Sarah in a BillAtWork story. But I could also see Sarah growing very concerned. Being the only sober person at a wild party can be very lonely. And women are sending her husband their underwear._

_Is their success worth it?_

_Content Warning: Rock Star was most definitely rated R. I'm going to try hard to keep this PG13. But there are going to be adult situations consistent with a raunchy party that some would classify an orgy. If that's not your thing, you might want to consider giving this story a pass._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah sat in her dressing room trying to catch her breath after their third encore was mercifully finally finished. She could still hear the crowd wildly pleading for another. But the truth was, they didn't have any more songs to sing. And then she remembered that Chuck had playfully begun to call it her undressing room. It was an inside joke between them as she found skimpy and even skimpier outfits. Fortunately he was joking. Sarah was actually quite proud of him for not being jealous. That would have been hard to deal with.

One thing that she hadn't anticipated about being in a rock band was the physical component. Make no mistake, Sarah Bartowski was in top physical shape. And even for her, bouncing around that stage for an hour was as much workout as she ever did as a spy.

Another thing that she hadn't anticipated was how much fun she was having. She loved to dance. But it was more than that. She had to admit that she enjoyed everything about the experience. It was something that Chuck teased her about incessantly. Who wouldn't enjoy twenty thousand people standing and cheering your every move?

It was also unexpected how well she and Lester clicked on stage. Unexpected maybe, but also magical. They quickly discovered they had a natural harmony thing going that made both of them sound much better than either would individually. And so far anyway, he had been the perfect gentleman. There were several times a set when he was in a position to be able to simply look down and see basically everything she had to offer. And to his credit, she never caught his eyes looking down… Down what? Shirt certainly wasn't the right word. What she was wearing was far short of a shirt. But whatever it was, he hadn't looked down it once. Maybe the boy wanted to keep his testicles. But Sarah knew it was more than that. He was having as much fun as she was… and didn't want to mess it up.

And Chuck… wow. He was having such a blast. That alone made all of this worth it. The 'charity' concert at the Buy More and the follow up concert at the Forum it generated had gone better than their wildest dreams. It had his phone ringing off the hook. He was clearly in his element as a band manager as he worked to build the band. He almost immediately added a drummer to the mix, and quickly after that a lead guitarist. Tomorrow he was auditioning people for a base guitarist. That allowed Jeff to concentrate on the keyboard where he was most comfortable. They now looked, and more importantly, sounded like a legitimate rock band.

Speaking of the man in question, he burst into the room. "Oh," he said in faux disappointment. "You're dressed."

Then there was that. To say that this experience had revitalized their sex life was like saying Carina's morals were possibly suspect. He was all over her at pretty much any time of the day or night. If that sounded like a complaint, it was anything but. Sarah was eating it up. "Here's the thing about being dressed," she teased. "It's easily fixed."

"Maybe we could put that on hold for just a few minutes," Chuck teased right back. "The limo is waiting."

They were in San Diego. This was their first concert out of town. Before joining Jeffster, Sarah had never been to a rock concert before. So she hadn't realized it was common practice for the venue to provide a party after the concert. At the Forum, it was at a local hotel. They all went home after it was over. But here they had rooms to spend the night. It promised to get wild. She picked up the two manila envelopes off the desk that had 'Mr. Bartowski' on the front. "You've got some mail," she said.

Rather than hand the envelopes to him, she conspicuously opened and emptied the contents onto the desk. "Pretty nice panties," she said as she picked up one of the garments daintily with a pencil, being very careful not to actually touch it, and held it up for inspection. "With a matching bra. Who knows where they've been? If they could only talk, what a story they could probably tell."

Chuck's face turned beet red in a millisecond. It was beyond cute. He clearly wasn't exactly sure how much she was teasing him… and he didn't want to guess wrong. "This comes with being in a band," he quickly said. "You know that I would never even think about cheating on you."

Quickly, Sarah was kissing him. "I know," she said with a grin. "That's why you're still breathing." She finally broke the long kiss and stepped back. "Mr. Bartowski, you've been drinking."

Again, Chuck wasn't sure how much she was teasing. "A little," he admitted. "This is a party. We have a lot to celebrate."

Quickly Sarah grinned at him. Truth be told, she loved seeing him so happy. "I know," she said as she took his hand and led him out of the room and to the waiting limo. "There is something about drinking that I'd like you to consider. It may increase desire, but it's not so good for performance. And we already have all the desire we can use. I need you on top of your performance game tonight. The party hasn't even started yet. I think you have a head start."

"Maybe I can think of some things to help us celebrate effectively."

x-x-x-x-x

Naturally the hotel was beyond fabulous. There was a huge ballroom where the 'invitation only' party was being held. Sarah blocked from her mind how one went about getting an invitation. There was also a private floor for the band and crew. Chuck and Sarah's suite was actually bigger than their whole apartment. The bed was bigger than some small countries.

Chuck turned to her as soon as they were inside. "Before I forget," he said as he walked over to the full bar and poured them both very stiff drinks. "You were fabulous tonight. I'm so proud of you. You were the sexiest thing I've ever seen dancing around that stage. You're going to be a star."

Sarah had just listened to north of twenty thousand people cheering wildly every time she took a step or sang a note. But she really couldn't describe how good his small compliment made her feel. "Thanks," she said as she took a small sip of the drink that Chuck had just handed her. She fought against the urge to make a face as it burned its way down her throat. It had been a while since she drank straight whiskey, probably not since she lost that bet with Zondra in Argentina that time. Thank goodness she hadn't agreed to Zondra's original proposed bet. That night was wild enough as it was.

Chuck had already finished his drink and was pouring another. "You want another?" he asked.

Sarah thought about warning him to slow down. Chuck could maybe hold his liquor. But nobody could drink that much and not have it affect them. But she found that she couldn't do it. He was far too happy to spoil it by becoming a nagging wife. Besides this was a special occasion. Maybe it was time to unclench her butt cheeks a little and join the fun. After all, everyone deserved to get a little wild sometimes, right? So she drained her drink in a single swallow and ignored the burning. "Why not?" she asked as she held out her glass. "Mr. Bartowski, tonight is your night. I'm giving you a 'get out of jail free' card. Anything, and I mean anything you want, tonight you can have."

Quickly enough Sarah had her deceptively strong hands behind his head. "You need to put in an appearance at the party," Chuck sighed as soon as the kiss broke. "You're the star. I'm afraid that duty calls."

"I know," Sarah sighed as well. "I have to keep my promise to Jeff and Lester anyway. Are you coming?"

"I still have some work to do," Chuck said. "I have to call and wrap up the negotiations for our tour. Ten cities over two weeks. That could really put us on the map. I'll meet you down there when I'm done. Besides, I'm not sure I want to witness you driving poor unsuspecting groupies into the slaughterhouse that is Jeff and Lester. I have sort of a weak stomach when it comes to such things. I might have nightmares. Are you sure they need your help?"

That got Sarah laughing. "I'm afraid so," she said as she kissed him goodbye. "Tonight is the real test of my powers. We're going for quality over quantity. Don't worry about the groupies. Sometimes waking up naked next to a Jeff is part of the deal they signed up for. And Lester has been a real trouper not gawking at my, um, my assets on stage."

"They need to be rewarded."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck had just finished the call. He really was feeling his oats. And why not? He had just taken the musical disaster that was Jeffster, and with a little help from his unbelievably sexy wife, had turned them into a legitimate rock band on the verge of breaking through to the big time. Ten million dollars for two weeks worth of performances. At this rate they wouldn't even need the Buy More to fund Carmichael Industries. Although Big Mike reported sales were up an amazing thirty percent since the promotional mini concert. Chuck was most definitely on a roll.

Chuck got up to go find Sarah. Or rather he tried to get up. He quickly found that his legs were a little reluctant to cooperate. So he was just sitting there catching his breath when the knock came at the door.

It was one of the seemingly hundreds of security guards. Casey took personal charge of security like only Casey could. "I'm very sorry to bother you, Mr. Bartowski," the guard said. "But this young lady insists that she has an appointment with you."

For the first time, Chuck noticed that there was a woman with him. Okay, so he had been drinking… but suddenly Chuck was looking at unquestionably the sexiest sight of his life. Her perfectly straight, jet black hair hung over her shoulders. She was wearing an equally jet black backless dress that was held in place by a single strap that fastened around her neck. The strap didn't even look to be needed. The dress honestly looked as if it had been spray painted on anyway. Some rust colored stockings and matching pumps completed the incredible vision. He grinned as he imagined what she did to even make it this far. Suddenly he was curious to see what she wanted. So he nodded to the guard. "I'll talk to her," he said.

"Yes, sir. Have a good evening."

And quickly enough he was alone with this incredible woman. "What can I do for you?" Chuck asked.

"I understand that you have a position for a roadie," she said as she sauntered further into the room. "I'd like you to consider me. I'll do anything it takes to get you to make that happen for me."

Sober, Chuck might have been more cautious. But he wasn't sober. And this incredible groupie was clearly one of the perks of being the manager of a rock band. And his wife had just given him a 'get out of jail free' card. It wasn't every day that happened. So he smiled at her. "Anything is pretty broad," he said. "Being a roadie isn't all that glamorous. You have to follow orders."

"Anything, means exactly that," she said with a sly smile. "Try me. I'll gladly follow any order you issue… all night… nothing off the table. And if I pass your test, in the morning, I'm your new roadie. Fair?"

Chuck's smile turned into a grin. "I have to admit," he said as he nodded towards her dress. "I wouldn't mind seeing what's under there. But let's understand each other. This is a one time thing. I'm happily married."

She reached behind her neck, gave a single tug, and stepped out of the dress that quickly was pooled at her feet. That left her wearing only the stockings and pumps posing for him. "I'm married too," she said with a grin. "I think so anyway. I was pretty drunk."

"I'm ready for my next order."

x-x-x-x-x

When Chuck woke, he found his newest dark haired conquest starring at him. "Good morning," he said. "Congratulations. You passed the test with flying colors. You're our new roadie. You earned it with your amazing performance on your back."

"About that," Sarah said with a cat ate the canary grin. "After thinking about it, I think I'd like to remain the star. And not to quibble over insignificant details but I really don't remember being on my back all that often last night. What's up with that? We'll have to find another roadie. No offense, but maybe we'll let Casey do the rest of the interviewing."

That got them laughing. "What got into you last night?"

"What got into me?" Sarah asked incredulously. "I'm pretty sure it was you. All… well I honestly lost track of how many times."

That got them laughing even harder. "I thought that you were going to go score hot babes for Jeff and Lester," Chuck said.

"It turns out that you were right," Sarah said. "They don't need my help. It was like being in the middle of a drunken Roman orgy. I even saw Devon and Ellie getting pretty friendly in the corner. They must have been smashed. I'll have to tease her about that later. So I decided that I was overdressed for the room. I could have stayed, lost some or all of my clothes, and joined in. But I thought maybe I'd come back and be your groupie before some other tart took my place. I take it you approve of my decision."

"I most definitely approve," Chuck said. "It was incredible. The black hair was a nice touch. It felt like I was cheating on you… with you. Thank you for a wild night."

"Don't thank me," Sarah said. "That's what getting out of jail free means. Besides, I'll bet I had a better time than you did. You went places I never thought you would."

Chuck looked at her. "Are we okay?" he asked. "Did I cross any lines?"

"You were simply perfect," Sarah said. "It was very hot. We're most definitely going to do something like this again sometime. For future reference, when the girl tells the guy that she'll do anything, she forfeits any right to complain about whatever he comes up with."

"It doesn't hurt us to get wild every once in a while."

x-x-x-x-x


	3. I Touch Myself

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I wasn't going to go anywhere near describing Jeffster performing on stage. It's hard to describe singing and dancing in prose. But my friend Doc in Oz put this idea (perhaps unwittingly) into my head and now the thing just won't leave._

_The DIVINYLS did a song a few years ago. And please don't tell my friend and sometimes Chuck writing partner, BrickRoad16 this, it's her favorite, but I usually don't care much for song lyrics in stories. But this seems to fit for me._

_Being in a rock band is not for the timid. In some ways, it's similar to being a CIA Agent. There are lots of unseemly people milling around looking for an angle to exploit. They are willing to be as totally cutthroat as the most jaded CIA Agent. And also like CIA Agents, they view sex somewhat casually, maybe more so than the CIA, even think of it as a commodity. It's easy for a naïve person to get caught up in that. Fortunately, Sarah isn't naïve. She's exactly the wrong person to try and play. She has been fully trained to see that stuff coming from a mile away._

_The show didn't emphasize this enough for my tastes, but Sarah depended a lot on Ellie as a mentor of sorts. So it's going to be nice for Sarah to be able to return the favor._

_Content Warning: I'm going to try hard to keep this PG13. But there are going to be adult situations consistent with a raunchy party that some would classify an orgy. If that's not your thing, you might want to consider giving this story a pass._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**I Touch Myself**

x-x-x-x-x

Ellie clearly wanted to be at home in bed. The sunglasses maybe hid her eyes. But they couldn't hide the fact that she was not yet fully recovered from being massively hung over. When they planned this trip they had agreed to meet this late morning for brunch in Chuck and Sarah's suite. But eating wasn't exactly on Ellie's mind.

Sarah saw no reason to go easy on her sister. After all, Ellie could dish it out with the best of them. "What's the matter?" she teased with a huge grin. "First orgy?"

That got most of the room laughing. Unfortunately Ellie wasn't in the mood to see the humor in the situation… not yet anyway. Her face took on this odd combination of red and green. "I was so drunk," she sighed. She turned to Devon. "I don't remember much. Please tell me I didn't do anything crazy with anybody."

"Well," Devon said thoughtfully. "There was the thing with Jeff. Define crazy for me."

"Oh my god," Ellie moaned. "Not Jeff."

"I'm teasing you," Devon quickly said. "Come on, babe. Do you really think I would let anybody take advantage of you when you were dead drunk? I made sure they all used condoms. They all seemed to come to the party prepared anyway. It's probably a common requirement."

Ellie's head thumped loudly on the table. "Oh no."

"Come on, babe," Devon said. "I'm still teasing you. Here's what really happened. You danced with Jeff… a few times… some slow but mostly fast. You danced with Lester. You danced with a lot of guys. That was basically it."

"Thank goodness," Ellie sighed. "At least Morgan wasn't there. I guess that's not so bad."

"It wasn't bad at all," Devon said. "You were having a blast. I've never seen you so giddy. You lost some clothes. But all the women lost some clothes."

"I was afraid of that," Ellie said. "I remember unbuttoning my blouse. How many clothes?"

"Basically all of them," Devon said with a grin. "I've never seen you get wild like that. It was… exciting."

"I slow danced with Jeff naked?" Ellie asked in horror. "Why on earth didn't you stop me?"

"You begged me not to," Devon insisted. "You were having such a great time. You went on and on about how great it felt to let go for once and get wild. And there really wasn't any harm. Yes, a room full of people including Jeff and Lester saw you naked. So what? You have a fantastic body. Pretty much everybody was naked. It was like a clothing optional beach."

"So," Ellie asked timidly. "We're okay?"

"Ellie," Devon said soothingly. "Why would you feel you have to ask me that? We're great. You didn't do anything wrong. The truth is I enjoyed watching you have so much fun. You sure weren't the only naked woman in that room. It was almost expected. You weren't close to being the wildest."

"I was in an orgy," Ellie sighed. "I never thought that would happen."

That got Devon laughing. "It wasn't an orgy," he said. "Sarah was just teasing you a little. There was probably a ton of sex happening, but it was all out of sight. What you did really wasn't even sexual… not really."

Suddenly Sarah felt the need to come to her emotional rescue. "Come on, Ellie," she said soothingly. "You're over thinking this. It must run in the family. Sure, you did some things last night that Dr. Eleanor Woodcomb would probably never do. Is there really anything wrong with that? I sure don't think so. You found yourself in an exciting circumstance, let your hair down, got a little wild, and had a blast for a single night. As long as it doesn't happen too often or go any farther, so what? You had someone who fiercely loves you making sure that nothing really destructive happened. And I'll bet that you richly rewarded him as soon as you were back in your room. That all works for me."

Devon's grin lit up the room. "She's right about that," he said. "As wild as you were at the party, well let's just say that you doubled down in our room. I'll not try and deny that I'm looking forward to the next time."

Ellie clearly wasn't convinced. "So," she said sarcastically. "Chuck would be fine with you taking off all of your clothes in a room full of strangers and dancing the night away naked with Jeff?"

It was actually an excellent question. Sarah honestly didn't have an answer. Chuck was much more possessive than a regular guy. Given their history, it was hard to fault him for that. So she joined Ellie and Devon at looking at Chuck expectantly.

Chuck took a moment to carefully consider his answer. "Sex is what we're selling," he said. He looked at Sarah and grabbed her hand. "Don't get me wrong," he said. "You're doing so great with the band, far better than my wildest dreams. You're going to be a huge star. I'm so proud of you that I might burst. But let's face facts. If you weren't the most beautiful, the sexiest woman in the world, nobody would be interested. It's actually not all that different than being an agent."

Chuck turned back to Ellie. "It's probably going to happen," he said. "To some extent anyway. I've already internally dealt with that. It was our deal when I asked her to do this. Devon's right. In that wild atmosphere it just happens. If you're going to be at those parties, you get wild. I think that Sarah is far more accustomed to dealing with that sort of atmosphere than most. She knows what she has to do to sell it. I completely trust her judgment. Anybody appearing fully sober or fully clothed would stick out. Besides, Sarah won't be dancing with Jeff. She will be dancing with Lester. It's good publicity for us if people are speculating that Sarah and Lester might be becoming a thing. We might exploit that someday." He turned back to Sarah. "It would be totally unfair of me to ask Sarah to use sex to sell the band, and then hold it against her in any way. I completely trust her at any level." He turned back to Ellie. "She's basically doing all this for me anyway. So yes, sis, I'd be fine. Just like Devon is fine. I might even find a way to have fun with it. If I thought for a second that she was developing genuine feelings for Lester, I'd go nuts. But I seriously doubt that."

Sarah was floored. He actually understood. He had just taken a big weight off her shoulders. She probably had never been more in love with him than at this exact moment. So she blinked the happy tears away and gave the hand that she was still holding a loving squeeze. "Thank you sweetie," she said. "I'm so impressed."

"Don't get me wrong," Chuck said with a grin. "Outside of the band, I still reserve the right to get childishly jealous over absolutely no reason."

Sarah matched his grin. "Duly noted," she said. "I reserve the same right."

Truthfully, Ellie was just as impressed. "I still can't believe I willingly slow danced naked with Jeff," she sighed. "The pervert probably felt me up the whole time."

"Jeff is the least of your worries," Sarah said. "I've got control of Jeff. He's scared to death of doing anything I wouldn't approve of. I'm pretty confident he knows that feeling up my sister while she's drunk on her ass would be one of those things."

"Sarah's right," Devon said. "Jeff was actually pretty great. We both should make it a point to thank him. At that party, he was the big star. He had a line of naked woman that stretched across the room, all eager to do any wild thing he suggested. Several times, he took time out of that and made a huge show of treating you like a good friend, somebody that he honestly cared for. The entire room was massively jealous of you. Besides, I doubt that anybody who matters remembers any of the details any more than you do. I made sure nothing happened that you would truly regret."

There was no mistaking the beginning of a smile on Ellie's face as she turned to face Sarah. "I blame you for all of this," she said.

"Me," Sarah said, clearly surprised. "What did I do?"

"You were so damn exciting up there," Ellie sighed. "I can't believe how great you were. It looked like you and Lester had been performing together for years. Once people found out that I was your sister, they all got in line to buy me a drink hoping for an introduction. You know that I can't pass up a free drink. So this is totally your fault."

"I'm sorry," Sarah said with a faux pout. "In my defense, from where I'm standing, you can't pass up a free anything. Feel free to actually offer an introduction in exchange for… maybe a new refrigerator."

That finally got Ellie laughing. "That's true," she said. "I do like getting free stuff." She turned to Chuck who was trying valiantly to keep from laughing. "And you, little brother, are enjoying this situation entirely far too much. You have to share this blame with your talented wife."

Chuck's battle to not laugh at his sister's embarrassment was now hopelessly lost. "I always knew that you had a thing for Jeff," he teased. "That was always pretty transparent. Imagine if Morgan had been there. He most definitely would have felt you up. Please warn me before the next time that you are going to get naked at one of these parties so that I can gouge my eyes out in advance."

"I still can't believe I got that wild," Ellie said, still laughing. "That's not me at all. Pretty soon, I'll be Carina."

"Stop feeling like that," Sarah insisted. "I actually think it's healthy for you to break out of your shell once in a while. Ellie, listen to me for a second. Carina got to be the way that she is for a reason. I've seen Carina in situations that would have made last night look like a PTA meeting. You're a thousand miles away from being Carina. But I want you to admit something. You had a blast last night. The parts you can remember might be the best night of your life. You're eagerly looking forward to the next time. That's perfectly normal. That atmosphere can be very intoxicating. The thing is, I know what I'm talking about here. Thanks mainly to Devon, you got off easy. Trust me, I've seen tons of people fall prey to letting go for the first time far more than you did last night."

Ellie nodded gratefully.

"You're not going to rest until you over analyze this to death, are you?" Sarah said with a grin. "That's the Bartowski family curse personified. I think that I'm going to have Carina call you. She can explain it a lot better that I can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting go every once in a while. But it's very much like a drug. It needs to be treated with the same respect. If abused, it can cost you your dignity, your profession, even your family. You're a doctor. Analyze this to death. Why do you think that room was filled with beautiful women we call groupies willing to do anything Jeff or Lester asked with zero regard for their dignity? That's not going to happen to you. You have Devon, Chuck, me, and even Jeff looking out for you. So don't worry."

"Just… please be careful with it."

x-x-x-x-x

The days and nights were quickly becoming a blur for Sarah. She had honestly never worked harder in her life. It was worse than the hardest times at the academy. Harder maybe, but a lot more fun. In the two weeks before the tour began they spent every waking moment rehearsing. Ten cities in two weeks might not sound like much. But people didn't realize how much work was involved. Chuck was almost always busy working on the logistical details. So that meant once again there was this huge dent in their sex life. That was the only thing not fun. In fact Sarah was really beginning to miss it.

One thing stood out. Sarah was bursting in pride at her husband. Yes, he was the sweetest man in the world. But he was also a natural leader. He got things out of Jeff, Lester, and yes, even her that she hadn't imagined possible. And he was able to do all of that without ever raising his voice once.

After the tour began they got even busier. Almost every waking minute was spent either on the bus traveling to the next city, rehearsing for the night's concert, or working on new material to include in the act. The actual concert was the easy part. Naturally there was a party after each one. And it was always expected that they put in an appearance. But Chuck put his foot down and got the band out of there before things ever got wild, well before midnight.

He left Casey in charge of the crew. So they maybe partied for a little while longer. After all, the parties were the main reason they had roadies who were willing to work so hard for so very little money in the first place. But God help them if they weren't ready in the morning. A pissed off Casey wasn't much fun to be around… and they all knew it.

It was good that Chuck had taken such firm charge. Even though they quickly developed a natural chemistry, they were basically six strangers. Jeff and Lester were the only two members of the band that had actually performed together. And they weren't used to the additional instruments or a third vocalist. So Chuck became the glue that bound them together into a polished act. He spent a lot of their rehearsal time working out the small kinks.

Everyone was looking forward to tonight's Saturday concert at Camden Yards in Baltimore, all for maybe slightly different reasons. They all agreed on one thing, it was by far the biggest venue they had ever played. The stadium held fifty thousand for a baseball game. And they had added ten thousand more temporary seats. It was going to be the first time they had ever played outside, so that was exciting. But the biggest thing was that the tour was now half over. That meant that they had a glorious three day break before the next city.

The after concert party promised to be the biggest and wildest yet. It's all the guys could talk about. But Sarah was frankly far more interested in dragging her husband into their huge suite and having him take his turn as the groupie for once. She spent most of her bus rides daydreaming of activities to prove to him that she took this role playing thing as seriously as he did.

Almost as good, Ellie and Devon were flying up for the concert and the entire weekend. Apparently Ellie had gotten over her embarrassment and was eager for wild party #2. She even took the unprecedented step of actually using some of the scores of vacation days they had accumulated to make it an extra long weekend. Devon was going to visit his parents while Ellie would spend the day that Sarah had set up for her with Carina. They would meet just before the concert.

They were just finishing up the last rehearsal when Sarah asked Chuck to leave.

"Why?" he asked.

The sparkle in Sarah's eyes was unmistakable. "We're working on something special," she said. "It's a band only thing. It's going to be a surprise. You'll see tonight."

"Trust me."

x-x-x-x-x

They were about half way done with the set when Sarah stepped to the mike trying to get the crowd to settle down enough to be heard.

_Thank you, we really appreciate it. Thank you._

_You know… Thank you… Thank you... Wow. You guys are really on fire tonight. Thank you._

_We're going to slow it down a little for a second. You know when you finally are lucky enough to meet that special somebody, it's something that you just know. The instant you realize it your entire life changes forever. You feel it inside. It's a gift. There is no way to ever go back to the way your life was before. So this is the first time we've ever done this song. But this one is for that guy who is my special gift._

Sarah nodded to the base player to begin the intro. Naturally the crowd thought she was looking at Lester. But she was actually looking past him to Chuck who was standing off stage.

_I love myself, I want you to love me_

_When I feel down, I want you above me_

_I search myself, I want you to find me_

_I forget myself, I want you to remind me_

Lester stepped up to the mike with her and he and Jeff joined in the chorus.

_I don't want anybody else_

_When I think about you, I touch myself_

_Ooh, I don't want anybody else_

_Oh no, oh no, oh no_

When Sarah began to sing the second verse she looked over to Chuck and saw him pat his heart affectionately. So she returned the gesture with a huge grin.

_You're the one who makes me come runnin'_

_You're the sun who makes me shine_

_When you're around, I'm always laughin'_

_I want to make you mine_

_I close my eyes and see you before me_

_Think I would die if you were to ignore me_

_A fool could see just how much I adore you_

_I'd get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you_

_I don't want anybody else_

_When I think about you, I touch myself_

_Ooh, I don't want anybody else _

_Oh no, oh no, oh no_

During the guitar solo, Sarah faced the crowd and did a slow grind to the beat. It was much like the time she danced with Bryce just before she ended up in the hospital. Naturally, the crowd was going nuts.

_I love myself, I want you to love me_

_When I feel down, I want you above me_

_I search myself, I want you to find me_

_I forget myself, I want you to remind me_

_I don't want anybody else_

_When I think about you, I touch myself_

_Ooh, I don't want anybody else_

_Oh no, oh no, oh no_

_I don't want anybody else_

_When I think about you, I touch myself_

_Ooh, I don't want anybody else_

_When I think about you, I touch myself_

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck didn't recognize the man that knocked on the door of Sarah's dressing room where he was waiting while they we doing their second encore.

"Your wife is amazing," the man said as he stepped past Chuck into the room, poured him a drink from the bottle he was carrying, and handed him a business card. "She could really go places. You must be proud."

You had to be somebody to be in that spot, just outside of Sarah's dressing room. Casey was watching everything like a hawk. So Chuck glanced at the card and took a pull of the drink as he studied the man. They really hadn't advertised that he and Sarah were married. In fact, they were keeping it on the down low so that they could someday exploit the Sarah/Lester wt/wt thing. "I'm very proud," he said. "You're right about that. Arrox Records. Big company. That's pretty impressive. How did you know she is my wife?"

The man didn't answer his question, he just held out his hand. "We're always looking for new talent," he said. "She certainly qualifies. Would you be interested in talking?"

Chuck shook the offered hand. "I don't think so," he said. "No offense. We don't want to be tied down to a label. We're not that kind of band. We'd much rather tour than be stuck in a studio. I think we're going to stay independent."

"At least give me an hour to hear what I'm prepared to offer," the man said. "What's the harm in that?"

"I'll listen to your offer," Chuck said. "But I don't want to deceive you. We're probably not interested."

"That's fair," the man said. "I'll catch up with you at the hotel. You don't mind if I talk to her myself? No offence. But this is the 21st century. Women get to make their own choices."

Chuck openly laughed as he downed another shot. "By all means," he said. "Take your best shot. Talk until you're blue. Good luck with that. Um, let me know how it goes."

The man took full measure of Chuck openly mocking him. "Well, you can't blame a man for trying," he said with a smile. "I'm not sure what it takes to make it. But whatever it is, she has it." He took the bottle from the table where he had placed it and refilled Chuck's drink. Here's to rock and roll.

After Chuck clicked his glass and downed his drink the man again offered his hand. "I wish you good luck. This can be a nasty business." He walked out of the room, made his way back next to the stage and watched the encore for a bit. The crowd was screaming so hard it was almost deafening.

"Well, I tried to play nice."

x-x-x-x-x


	4. Sara Smile

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I haven't forgotten about Upper Hand. It's still going to happen. Right now, I'm concentrating on this while the idea is fresh in my brain._

_Content Warning: I'm going to try hard to keep this PG13. But there are going to be adult situations consistent with a raunchy party that some would classify an orgy. If that's not your thing, you might want to consider giving this story a pass._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**Sarah Smile**

x-x-x-x-x

One of the things that Sarah hadn't realized about performing in a concert was how unbelievably hot and humid the stage was. It was even worse outside. The buildings were always climate controlled. Of course outside that wasn't possible. This had been one of those mid summer days where the temperature and humidity both approached a hundred. It had maybe started to cool off a little once the sun set, but the seemingly millions of lights pointed at them made that stage approach an inferno. Combine that with Sarah constantly bouncing around that huge stage for over an hour, and the first thing that she wanted after the final encore was a towel. The second thing was a drink of water.

She stood offstage directly in front of one of the huge fans toweling off, catching her breath for a second, and sipping the bottle of water one of the crew had handed her when she noticed the bullpen.

It was an odd term, one that Sarah had never heard before. It had taken Chuck to explain it to her. It was originally a baseball term. Well that didn't help Sarah in her understanding much. So he went on. There was a special area that was closed off, semi out of sight, for special guests of the band. That's where the friends and family would sit and watch the concert. And since Chuck had strategically made sure to hire the new band members who were already married, there was a place for the wives to sit. Since it was the closest you could get to the stage, there were other people there as well. Some local dignitaries, some sports people, even the occasional senator, maybe fifty in total.

Normally, Sarah would have just headed to her dressing room and collapsed for a while. But she knew that she would have some extra time tonight. Sixty thousand people were all in the process of leaving at the same time. It would be an hour or more before traffic thinned down to the point that the limo could get them to the hotel anyway. Ellie would be there, so she walked over.

It probably wasn't the smartest decision Sarah had ever made. If she was more accustomed to being famous, she probably wouldn't have done it. There were fifty people in the bullpen who weren't Ellie. And they were excited beyond belief at getting this close to the star. So Sarah found herself surrounded for a long moment. Not only that, but her costume, which wasn't at all modest under normal circumstances, was now ringing wet… a fact that had clearly not gone unnoticed by the few teenaged boys in attendance, and who are we kidding, most of the men.

Finally Sarah was able to sign enough autographs to make her way to where Ellie was patiently waiting. Naturally Devon was there beside her. But the surprise was on her other side where Carina stood grinning.

Ellie was beyond giddy as she threw her arms around her sister. "You were so great," she squealed. "You're getting better and better every time."

Truth be told, Sarah was hugging back every bit as much. It had been more than two weeks since they had talked and she really missed her. As soon as the long embrace broke, she turned to Carina who had her hand stuck out.

"Sara Smile," Carina said with a silly grin. "It's good to meet you."

Sara Smile was the stage name that Chuck came up with before they started. It apparently came from a song by some group named Hall and Oates. He didn't want her to be known as Sarah Bartowski. Mainly they didn't want to advertise that they were married. Besides, it was too hard to sign Bartowski over and over on an autograph. Both Walker and Carmichael would tie her to the spy thing. Although that was honestly getting more and more moot as her face was displayed on virtually every billboard they saw. There was no way for her to ever be covert again.

Sarah couldn't help but laugh as she shook the offered hand. She had seen that grin on her oldest friend's face a gazillion times. And it always meant trouble for somebody. "I'm surprised you're here," Sarah said. Truthfully she wasn't all that surprised. Carina was drawn to a wild party like a moth was drawn to a bright light. She was dying to chat and find out how it had gone with Ellie. But there wasn't enough time now. "We'll catch up at the party. Assuming that you're still conscious." They were lucky. They could just walk the ten blocks or so to the hotel so they'd be there in a half hour ready to party. If the band tried that, they would be quickly mobbed by thousands of fans, all wanting an autograph, a hug, or who knew what else from the newly famous Sara Smile.

Sarah didn't want Ellie to think she was being motherly or needed protection, so she lapsed into Hungarian. "Rendetlenség megjelöl az életét, és megtalálja a módját, hogy bántani." Carina's face clearly said that she got the message.

"I have to get back to Chuck."

x-x-x-x-x

She wasn't all the way into the room yet before Chuck had his arms tightly wrapped around her. Apparently the fact that she was wringing wet, and frankly kinda gross didn't matter much as he pressed his lips to hers.

Chuck being sexually aggressive maybe was rare, but it was also Sarah's very, very favorite thing in the world. It never failed to get her motor revving to the red line. And since it had been a very long two weeks, she made absolutely no effort to resist. Their tongues danced for a long while. Finally Chuck broke the kiss. "Thank you for the surprise," he said. "You were amazing. The fans went nuts. That now has to be a regular part of the act. I'm stunned at how well you're doing. We're going to have to find some more songs for you to sing lead."

Sarah's smile lit up the room. "I'm glad you liked it," she said. "Jeff did the arrangement. He's actually quite talented. Lester picked out the song. It was a little suggestive. You know Lester. But I have to admit, I meant every word."

Chuck matched Sarah's grin. "I don't know," he said with arched eyebrows. "Maybe when we get to the room you can prove that to me. I have to say, I wouldn't mind seeing it."

Sarah playfully slapped his chest. "Pervert," she said in faux horror.

That got them laughing. "In my defense," Chuck said. "There were thirty thousand perverts in that crowd thinking the very same thing. Trust me on that. And that's only counting the men."

Sarah was still laughing. "I'll take your word for it," she teased. "I'll see what I can do about proving it to you when we get to the hotel. That might be a little fun." She saw the business card on the table and picked it up. "What's this?"

"Arrox Records," Chuck sighed. "Big record company. A major player. They want to sign us. Or more accurately they want to sign you. He's putting on the full court press. He's coming to talk to us at the hotel. He also wants to talk to you alone. I told him to go for it."

Sarah picked up on this tone right away. "What would that mean?" she asked. "You don't sound very happy about it."

"I'm not," Chuck said. "Don't get me wrong. There is a very good side to this. A major label pursuing us this hard means that we're now in the major leagues. They would probably want to tie us up for five years. I'm guessing they would offer twenty million or so for just you. We can't just blow him off. He's very powerful in the business. If he wants to bad enough, he could make it a lot harder for us. We're better off being very respectful, pretend to consider his offer, and hope he accepts our decision."

"Help me to understand the problem," Sarah said. "Why would we pretend to consider his offer? That sounds like a lot of money."

"It is a lot of money," Chuck said. "That's the problem. You don't understand how record labels work. For that much money, they would want to own you. When you weren't on tour or in the studio, you'd be on some promotional thing. We'd never see each other. We'd lose all artistic control. And maybe this part is me being petty, but I saw the look in his eye. For twenty million dollars he would be expecting, um, additional considerations."

"Chuck," Sarah said. "Come on. You know that's never going to happen, right? You can't seriously be worried about that. If I had a dollar for every time some creep wanted additional considerations, I could buy Arrox Records."

Chuck took full measure of her tone. She was clearly not happy. "I didn't mean it like that," he said. "I'm sorry if you think that I don't trust you. I completely trust you. I just don't want you to spend five years forced to constantly fend off these creeps. It's exhausting."

"I've spent the last ten years fending off creeps trying to get my panties in their pocket," Sarah said. "I'm not exhausted yet. So far their combined success rate is zero. If this is best for us, you shouldn't worry about that. I'm willing to do it. We'd have to negotiate having plenty of time to spend together. That's a show stopper."

Chuck shook his head. "We wouldn't have time for Carmichael Industries," he said. "That's why we're doing this in the first place. We have to find a way to tell him no respectfully. If he gets you alone, please don't throw a knife at him."

Sarah furrowed her brow. "You still want to go ahead with C.I.?" she asked gently. "There is no way for me to ever be covert again. Every time I turn around, I see my face on some advertisement. Thanks to you, we've proven to be pretty good at this music thing. We're having fun and making tons of money. I make no promises about throwing the knife. I know men like that. They think that they get everything that they want."

"Sarah," Chuck said in alarm. "You want to stop being a spy? That's why we're doing this in the first place. Sara Smile may not be covert. But she can get us into places that Sarah Walker would have no shot. Besides, we have the edge. We have an Intersect on our payroll. Nobody else can come close to saying that. We just need to keep the band successful for a few more weeks. I'm not asking you to flirt with him. Just be polite."

Sarah was taken aback as she took full measure of the concern in his voice. She hadn't heard that tone from him in a long while. So she wrapped her arms around him again. "Understand something," she said. "Open up your mind and hear what I'm telling you. Whatever you want to do… Chuck, that isn't hyperbole. Whatever you want to do personally or professionally… ever… look to your right and see me standing there next to you smiling. That's not me making some sacrifice for you. That's me doing what I want to do with all of my heart. If, for some bizarre reason, you needed me to flirt with him, I'd do it without thinking twice. It's time that you started believing that."

Chuck squeezed her tight. "Thanks," he said.

It was time to let him off the hook a little. "Of course," she teased. "Sometimes, I'll be directly under you smiling. On the odd special occasion I might be on top of you smiling. But you get the general idea."

That finally did the trick and got him laughing. "I do," he said. "Please don't flirt with this guy. That would just encourage him. As long as we're on this subject maybe you've forgotten that this is supposed to be my turn to be the groupie. Ms. Smile, is there anything I can do for you while we're waiting?"

Sarah's cat ate the canary grin popped out and lit up the room. She sauntered over to the door and conspicuously locked it. "Absolutely," she said as she began to strip off her wet clothes. "Trust me. I haven't forgotten. I've compiled a long and frankly rather vivid list of activities for you to perform for my amusement.

"Based on our history, I'll bet you can guess what I'd like first."

x-x-x-x-x

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

Chuck and Sarah were finally in their suite. They hadn't quite made up for the long two weeks yet, but they were definitely off to a good start and were currently snuggled on the couch semi necking. He was surprised by her tone. "Of course," he said.

"This is a very serious question," Sarah warned. "It isn't the time for you to try and be sweet and tell me what you think that I want to hear. If you're not willing to answer me truthfully, then let's drop this. I'm serious. It's something that could damage us."

That certainly got Chuck's attention. "I promise," he said cautiously. "Ask your question."

Sarah paused for a long while. "You told Ellie that you would be fine if I got wild at one of the parties," she finally said. "You sort of couched it in terms that made it sound like a mission. What if it wasn't a mission?"

Chuck breathed a sigh of relief. "How wild are we talking?" he asked with a grin.

Sarah probably knew that he was teasing, but she didn't smile. "That's the problem," she said. "I'm not really sure. I've never allowed myself to be in that situation before. I'd die before I would ever willingly cheat on you. I know that. But the honest truth is that I'm jealous of Ellie. She had Devon to protect her in that wild, intoxicating environment. The problem is that when you're drunk on your ass, you're easily exploited. I've heard the horror stories of some of the men that Carina has woken up next to. She laughs about it. Unlike her, that would be the most horrible thing that could happen to me. I've made my fair share of mistakes with men. That's well documented. But I've always made those mistakes sober. I've never had anybody who I trusted enough to protect me from being exploited. So I've never been able to let go. I'd really like to find out what it's like once."

"You can find out tonight," Chuck said. "I'll be there to protect you."

Sarah shook her head. "You saying it that casually is not good enough," she said. "The very last thing I would ever want would be to hurt us. This doesn't come close to risking that. Let's face it, Chuck. You're a pretty jealous guy, always have been. That's not a criticism. I'm every bit as jealous. In fact, I'm not sure that I could do what I'm asking of you tonight. That sounds unfair. So if you have any issue, please don't worry about saying no. We've learned to deal with being jealous. A huge part of me even enjoys the fact that you're so possessive. I don't want you to stop… and I have no intention of stopping. I know there are things you've seen on missions in the past that have hurt us. Please, Chuck, I'm begging you. Please don't tell me that you're okay if it's not absolutely one hundred percent true. It's not worth it."

"Let's put some things on the table," Chuck said. "Yes, I was jealous of Bryce and Shaw. I still am a little. I'm totally guilty. That sometimes bubbles to the surface and causes tension. I get that it's childish. But I don't really apologize for it. At one time you had feelings for them. I was jealous of Lon Kirk and Manoosh. I do apologize for that. It was even more childish. You didn't have any feelings for them. You were doing your job. In fact you looked down at them. So if you were find yourself not wearing much tonight, dancing with some guy, and trying to figure out how you could avoid me long enough to drag him someplace and screw his brains out, I'd be jealous. Is that going to happen?"

"Of course not," Sarah said, sounding honestly offended. "If getting drunk caused me to want to cheat on you, you shouldn't be jealous. You should be livid. If that happened, I don't deserve you. We simply wouldn't be able to claim to have this amazing thing that we clearly have." She paused for a moment to gather her composure. "I can't even think about hurting you like that without crying," she said. "Okay, tonight is going to get wild. There's no sense in trying to deny that. You're going to see things from me that you haven't seen before. There will be lots of couples hooking up all around us for casual, meaningless, borderline pathetic sex. But for me this isn't about sex at all. You don't ever have to worry about that, not ever, at least not with anyone but you. That might happen." Sarah paused again for a long moment. "I know you. I know how you think," she said. "This isn't about you. It isn't about us. And, sweetie, it certainly isn't about me needing something from you that I'm not getting. So get that nasty thought out of your head and don't let it back in."

Chuck began to protest that the thought was never in his head, but Sarah cut him off. "I've been in scores of these kinds of wild situations with the C.A.T.S.," she continued. "I was always the one who had to stay straight to protect the other girls. And maybe I'll hate it. I'll probably get hung over, ask myself what I could have possibly been thinking, and never want to do anything like it again. But trust me. Being the only sober person in a drunken, wild party is a very lonely position. I think that I'd really like to find out what the other side feels like once. But only if you're honestly okay."

"Then, trust me," Chuck said with a smile. "You don't have anything to worry about. I'll have your back all night. I'm going to have my hands full. Every man there will want a shot at Sara Smile. I'm going to have a good time laughing at them. I'll even enjoy seeing you dancing with Lester. You can trust me. We're going to have to make sure that he fully understands the situation. He has a massive crush on you, always has. We don't want to get his hopes up and break his heart. I do reserve the right to tease you about you flirting with Lester for the next… oh I don't know, maybe twenty years."

Sarah gently touched her lips to his. "Duly noted," she said. "For the record, I get that that I have to pretend to flirt with Lester tonight. I'll talk to him. I think that he understands the situation better than you think. It looks like I'm also going to have to flirt with that record company dude. I imagine there will be a steady line of guys wanting to dance… or more. But I'm hoping to mostly be dancing with you. Thank you for understanding. I love you. You're amazing."

Chuck's voice rose an octave. "I don't want you to flirt with the record…" He quickly trailed off as he saw the look on her face. "Very funny," he said as he found his classic grin. "You're going to pay for that."

That got them both laughing. "Sorry," Sarah said, still laughing. "That was too easy."

"Speaking of paying," he teased. "We haven't discussed my fee yet for having your back all night. It's going to be hard work fending off all of those guys. Devon was richly rewarded for his service. I'm not sure of the specifics. I really don't want to ask him. But I honestly think that I'm doing more. So if I came up with something for when we got back to the room. I assume I can count on your eager participation."

Sarah knew that he was teasing. She absolutely did. But she still got serious. "You know that you never have to ask me that," she said. "Now I'm torn. I'm interested in seeing what you come up with while I'll still be able to remember it. I'm thinking that maybe we blow off this party and we get right to your payment."

Chuck laughed even harder. "Don't worry about remembering it," he said. "I plan on recording the whole thing. We'll do the adult version of today's surprise as a homemade music video."

Sarah's head popped up… until she saw the look on his face. "Very funny, yourself," she said in relief.

"We can watch it together over and over," Chuck continued his teasing. "Maybe someday, we'll leak it. It would be great for your career. It's fairly common for a huge star to have a sex tape floating around the Internet. Besides, I haven't earned any payment yet."

"You're not a very good negotiator."

x-x-x-x-x


	5. Being Polite is Over Rated

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_Okay, it's time for the raunchy party that everyone has been looking so forward to. Sarah doesn't really know what to expect. She's breaking new wind on a personal level. But she is comfortable that she has Chuck to look after her. Ellie has Devon to look after her. But she also has Carina… um; it looks like Devon might have his hands full._

_Naturally, you're reading a BillAtWork story (sorry for rubbing that in if you were trying to deny it to yourself). If you expect this to go smoothly, wow are you in the wrong place, lol._

_Content Warning: I'm going to try hard to keep this PG13. But there are going to be adult situations consistent with a raunchy party that some would classify an orgy. If that would offend you, you might want to consider giving this story a pass._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**Being Polite is Over Rated**

x-x-x-x-x

Ellie took a deep breath as she knocked on the door. This was so out of character, something that she would have never considered doing a month ago, before her first dancing-around-in-public-naked, almost orgy, at least not sober. She definitely wasn't supposed to be here. Devon most definitely wasn't very happy that she was doing this. She had to grovel to the guard to allow her on the floor in the first place. Finally she ended up making a huge bribe of a rather personal nature. She had never used that tactic with a man before except for maybe Devon. It was Carina that put the idea in her head. She said that there were two things that every man wanted… and this was the most effective. Maybe Devon was right and she was hanging around Carina too much. She felt more than a little guilty. It was something that she knew she could never hide from him. But ultimately this was something she found that she simply had to do. She would have to try and make it up to Devon later.

His grin couldn't have possibly been bigger. "Ellie," he said. "Hi. What a nice surprise. It's nice to see you. Please come in."

Ellie looked around as she cautiously entered the suite. It was pretty nice. Okay, so truthfully it left 'pretty nice' standing in the dust. It was fabulous.

"Would you like a drink?"

Ellie didn't want to open her mouth and look stupid. So she just nodded. She was suddenly conscious of how she was dressed. It was far more revealing than she would normally wear. But, then again, the skimpy party dress that hid little anyway was soon going to be moot in a pile on the floor. It was just a matter of time. They both knew that was true.

She looked at his face carefully. What was he thinking? Well, that was a stupid question. What else could he be thinking? This was as brazen a move as the most desperate groupie would pull. The signal to him to make a move was obvious. What would she do if he made that move? It wasn't until she had taken a strong pull of the drink he had just wordlessly handed her before she found the courage to speak. "I'm so sorry for just barging in here," she said.

"Don't worry," he said. "I was just taking a nap before the big party."

"Oh my God," Ellie said in pure horror. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be silly," he said. "It's time to get up anyway. And even if it wasn't… I'd get up for you. What's on your mind?"

A month ago, that would have been his move, a crude, double entendre, lame excuse for a pickup line that would have had her running in disgust. But by some sense, Ellie knew he didn't mean it that way. It was genuine. As unexpected as Jeff being charming was, it was equally disarming. "Devon's mad at me for bothering you," she said. "He told me to wait until you were downstairs. I had to bribe Casey with a pot roast dinner to even get in here. I feel bad using him like that. But I wanted to talk to you in private. Devon tells me that I owe you a big thank you for the way you treated me in San Diego. You owned that room. The truth is you could have taken advantage of the situation, easily got me out of Devon's sight, and… well, after that pretty much whatever you wanted. Nobody would have thought twice about it. I wouldn't have even remembered it. But you didn't. You took time away from being king of the hill and treated me like a good friend. So thank you."

"You are a good friend," Jeff said softly. "I've always thought so. Ellie, I get that we're from different places socially. There are tons of things we see differently. But there is also one basic fact. You invited me into your home for Thanksgiving dinner when I didn't have anyplace else to go. That's not something that one easily forgets. So instead of being alone eating some frozen TV dinner, you made me part of your family for a feast that you made with your own hands. Trust me. Casey doesn't think that you're using him at all. In fact if I could maybe get in on that pot roast, I'd be all over that. Besides, you're no groupie. You're the classist woman I know. I had fun that night with you. I'd never be able to live with myself if I ever took advantage of that… not with you. Devon is the luckiest man I know."

Wow. What could Ellie say to that? She just stepped up and hugged him.

"At the risk of ruining this nice moment," Jeff said as he hugged her lovingly. "I just have to tell you how great you looked that night. I've never seen you so glowing… so sexy bouncing around that dance floor. You were the most beautiful woman in the room. Dancing with you and feeling your chest rub against mine may possibly be the highlight of my life."

That got them both laughing. "Now there's the Jeff I know," Ellie said as she slapped his chest playfully. "Thanks… I think. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you'd like, maybe we can do it again tonight."

"I'd like that," Jeff said.

"You know what?" Ellie said as she headed for the door. "Again, don't take this the wrong way."

"But so would I."

x-x-x-x-x

By the time Chuck and Sarah made it downstairs the party was already in full bloom. The venue had gone full bore with the arrangements. There was a full buffet complete with top flight caviar and imported exotic fresh fruit. A man was busy in the corner carving generous slices of melt in your mouth prime rib. But the main thing that stuck out was the bar. It stretched around a whole corner of the room stocked with every liquor label you had ever heard of, and many that you hadn't. There were four bartenders ready to make any drink you could think of.

Of course, in typical Chuck fashion, he said that it should be nice. He had done the math. Counting parking and concessions, they had grossed close to ten million dollars tonight.

Arriving late was strategic. Chuck had gone into the room a few minutes before Sarah. He wanted to gauge the reaction. And indeed, a huge cheer filled the room as people realized that the star was finally here.

Naturally Sarah was surrounded for a while signing autographs. As was her custom at these things, she also spent some time and walked around to give all of the band members a big hug. She always made it a practice to chat with the wives for a moment and make sure they were having a good time. After all, happy wife, happy life. It was probably was just as true for a band. But she also wanted to make sure that they were each willing to look her in the eye without any of the guilt she was trained to spot. She had already noticed them looking at Chuck more than once. Hopefully it was just the normal admiration for a nice, charming, funny guy. Hopefully for them anyway. She spent a little more time with Lester than usual. One thing was for sure. When Sara Smile turned on the flirty charm, everyone noticed. She even kissed him. That got a cheer from the crowd. Of course the 'girl' he was currently 'with' was clearly much less enthused, but she didn't say anything. How could she?

Chuck stood with Devon, Ellie, and Carina watching Sarah work the room. "I never thought the girl had that in her," Carina laughed. "She even looks like she's having fun."

Chuck had mixed feelings about Carina. There was still some baggage from those early days. And the thing with Morgan was just… bizarre. But she was Sarah's oldest friend. She had been a bridesmaid in his wedding. And she had stayed dressed for the whole ceremony, which was something that Sarah hadn't been willing to guarantee. She called it about 50/50. Most important, she and Ellie were clearly fast becoming good friends. In face, Ellie was treating her like she treated Sarah… like a sister. So Chuck decided that maybe it was time to let some of that past go. "She is having fun," he said. "I think she's surprised herself how much fun she's having."

"Why wouldn't she have fun?" Ellie asked as she tipped back a shot of tequila, her hair bouncing as she kept time to the beat of the music. "She's a big star. People cheer when she clears her throat."

"That's not Sarah," Carina said. "At least not the Sarah I knew. She avoided the limelight, never wanted to be the center of attention. She's changed."

At long last, Sarah was able to join them. "What?" she asked as she saw them staring at her. "Is there something on my face?"

That got the group laughing. "I was just telling everybody how much you've changed," Carina said. "Admit it. You're actually having fun."

"So," Ellie said, joining the sport. "What changed you?"

Sarah tipped back the shot that Chuck had just handed her and sided into him affectionately. "Do you really have to ask me that?" she asked. "I was on a mission once and I met this guy. It turns out that I really, really like him. He has this Svengali thing going. I'm pretty much under his evil spell. If he wants me to sing, I sing. If he wants me to have fun, well, I'll have fun."

"If he wants you naked," Carina teased.

"You do the math," Sarah responded.

That got them all laughing. She turned her silly grin towards Chuck. "I get that we're supposed to not show a lot of affection in here," she said. "I'm afraid that you're going to have to deal with it. Maybe we can spin the thing with Lester as a triangle. I've heard that's pretty popular with the fans. You have to admit, we've had a few in our days."

"Too many," Chuck groaned. "Here is the thing about triangles. The fans might like them at first. But they get really old, really fast. Then everybody wants the girl to make a decision."

x-x-x-x-x

Traditionally, the first thing that they always did at one of these parties was to play the tape of that night's concert on the big screens that filled the hall. That was probably Sarah's least favorite thing. She didn't mind performing. But she wasn't necessarily wild about watching it. Fortunately, by the time they arrived, it was almost over. So they got something to eat from the buffet. Someone had clearly done their homework, because when Sarah went to get some of the prime rib, the man offered the star a huge lobster tail instead. Naturally, Sarah gratefully accepted her favorite meal.

They were about finished eating when Chuck noticed him approaching. He groaned noticeably.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked.

"That's him," Chuck said.

Ellie noticed the looks they were giving each other. "What's up?" she asked.

"Jeff Jones," Sarah sighed. "He's with a big record company. He wants to sign us. Chuck says that I have to be nice to him. At least we can get it over with early. I'm ready to party."

"Wow," Carina teased. "You really have changed. You're scaring me a little. Just how 'nice' are you going to be? Since you appear to have misplaced your bra, two more buttons on your shirt would probably be really nice."

"I didn't tell you to be nice to him," Chuck protested. "I said polite."

Jones approached the group with a tray of drinks. He passed them out as Chuck made the introductions. Once everybody had one, he raised his in toast. "Here's to rock and roll," he said.

There was no reason not to follow. So they all raised their glass. "To rock and roll."

Jones turned to Sarah. "Your husband tells me that I can get you alone and put on the full court press," he said with a grin. "Is now a good time?" He offered her his hand.

Sarah was a little torn. Chuck wanted her to be polite. But she also could see no reason to passively accept his overt flirting in front of her husband. "I assume we're talking music business," she said with a grin. She ignored his hand. "Lead the way."

Jones shrugged as he led her to one of the several 'privacy' rooms that were off the main ballroom. There really wasn't much question as to the room's purpose. She had already seen several couples head to one of these rooms tonight. They would get even more use as the party began to get wild. But it was as good a place as any to talk.

Sarah began to get an uneasy feeling when Jones locked the door. But the kicker was the huge, commercial video camera on a tripod pointed at the couch. "What is that for?" she asked.

"Let's call it a screen test," Jones said with a leer plainly aimed at her chest. "We are prepared to offer you an exclusive deal… thirty six million dollars for five years. I'll bet that's about double what you were expecting. I need to make sure that we're making a good investment."

Now Sarah was fairly sure what he was after. He wasn't making much attempt to hide it. But there was probably nothing to do except let him make his move. "What did you have in mind?" she asked.

"Why don't we start with you taking off your shirt?" Jones asked. "My camera really wants to see that."

Sarah openly scoffed at him. Being polite time had clearly just come to a screeching halt. The funny thing was that if he wanted to see her without her shirt, all he would have to do is hang around the party for a while. She had already made up her mind that she would go with the flow tonight. And the flow at these things didn't call for many clothes. But she sure as hell wasn't giving this creep a private show. For one thing, it would just encourage him to demand more and more. "You're delusional," she said as she headed for the door. "That's not for sale. I guess your full court press appears to be ineffective. I'd switch to a zone. Have a nice day." Sarah had no idea what that meant. She'd heard Chuck say it once. It was maybe during a baseball game.

"I thought that's how you might react," Jones said. "I tried to be nice. But Agent Walker, I really think you'll want to hear my entire offer…"

"For your husband's sake."

x-x-x-x-x

"What's the deal with this guy?" Ellie asked as she watched Sarah follow him out of the room. "Why does Sarah have to be nice to him? He seems fairly creepy."

"I never said nice," Chuck protested, maybe a little more forcefully than he intended. "Why does everybody keep saying that? I asked her to be polite. This guy wants to sign her to a multi-million dollar deal. I don't want that. But he can make trouble for us if he wants to. Why make him want to? She listens politely, tells him that she has to think about it, and lets me politely decline sometime tomorrow. What's the big deal?"

Carina noticed the tension in his voice right away. So she grabbed his hand. "Come on, Chuck," she said. "Let's dance."

Chuck clearly wasn't enthusiastic about slow dancing with Carina, but he also didn't have a good way to resist.

It took a few moments before they actually made it to the dance floor. Carina wanted a drink. And there was something of a line at the bar. Chuck clearly could have used his status to bypass it. But that would be unsporting. Once they were on the floor, Carina wasted little time getting to the point. "I'd like us to be friends," she said as soon as they were on the floor. "Honest, trusting, good friends. I get that there have been issues in the past. What do we have to do to get over them? Whatever it is, I'm honestly willing to do it. I don't have many friends. I'd like to add you to that list."

When Chuck didn't answer she pulled back a little. "Is this that hard of a decision?" she asked with a grin. "I'm being serious. I get that you think I'm too wild. I'll tone it down a little. Okay?"

When Chuck still didn't answer, she pulled back a little. "What's wrong?"

"I… I… don't know," Chuck said haltingly. "I feel… strange."

Carina took a good look at his eyes and saw the look she had seen far too many times. She quickly helped him back to where Ellie and Devon were and gently sat him into a seat. She quickly snapped into professional agent mode and took charge. "He's been drugged," she said. "I'm guessing Rohypnol but there is no way to tell for sure. Sarah is probably in about the same shape. Ellie, go find Casey. Have him take Chuck back to his room and then tell him to come and find me. Stay with Chuck until we get there. If you don't like what you see, call for… well, you're the doctor. Do whatever you think is best. Devon, come with me."

Devon was just as uneasy being alone with Carina as Chuck was. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"To kick some ass."

x-x-x-x-x


	6. The Agent and the Singer

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_Content Warning: I'm going to try hard to keep this PG13. But there are going to be adult situations consistent with a raunchy party that some would classify an orgy. There will be a sexual situation that approaches nonconsensual. It won't go vey far but if that would offend you, you might want to consider giving this story a pass._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**The Agent and The Singer**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah stared at Jones in… well, she was torn between disgust and anger. But one thing was for sure. This horny pervert calling her Agent Walker certainly got her attention. "I'm listening," she said. "Let's put something on the table. I'm unbelievably protective of my husband. If you hurt him in any way, the biggest piece of you that is going to remain will fit inside my purse."

If Sarah had hoped to intimidate him, well it didn't work. "You're fairly famous for being quite the hothead," Jones said with a derisive laugh. "I'd suggest that you dial that rancor down a few notches… if you want to remain happily married. I'm also well aware of how protective you are. Indeed, I'm counting on it. It's not a very good thing for a CIA Agent to fall in love. Didn't they tell you that at the academy? Maybe you fell asleep that day. People like us are the reason why. It's that very weakness we're going to use against you. Unfortunately, you have to admit. You're also very good at hurting him."

Knowing that he was trying to bait her, Sarah held her tongue.

"We have a mutual acquaintance," Jones said. "He doesn't much care for your Mr. Bartowski. That's understatement. But he actually likes you even less. So he came to me with this idea. We could easily kill your Carmichael Industries and destroy your marriage. But it occurs to us that you might want to talk us into not doing that… for his sake. That might be a little fun. We're willing to negotiate."

Sarah was seething. But there was no reason not to let him tell her the whole plot. "Negotiate?" she asked. "I'm confused. Exactly what do I get?"

Jones was clearly enjoying his sport. "You get to keep your husband," he said. "The money I'm prepared to offer would keep his pathetic business afloat. We'd back off and maybe he'd have a chance. Otherwise, I'm afraid that it's simply another sad story of a failed business. You understand the current situation. Assets frozen, potential customers scared away, creditors calling in the middle of the night. It happens all the time."

Jones paused to leer evilly at her. "For being his wife, you really don't understand him at all do you?" he asked mockingly. Ask yourself this simple question. Why is he so frantic to remain a spy? Why is he so willing to lose hundreds of millions of dollars on a business with so very little up side? Why is he so desperate to keep it going?"

As livid as Sarah was, she had to admit something. It was actually a good question, one that she honestly had already started to ask herself. "I'm not sure," she admitted angrily. "But I'm sure that you're going to tell me."

That got a grin. "You're the reason," he said. "Think about it. Carmichael Industries is a proxy. He thinks that if he isn't a spy, that he doesn't deserve you. Given your history, he believes that it's only a matter of time before you come to your senses, get bored, and leave him. I'm afraid you've made that bed with your actions over the years. There's not much you can do about it now. I'm afraid that you can talk to him until you're blue in the face. He'll nod, smile, and even agree with you. But it ultimately won't make a shred of difference. The downward spiral as he makes his fear self-fulfilling is fairly predictable. I'm afraid the only way to prevent that is if we come to some sort of understanding."

Sarah suddenly had a huge epiphany. And it sent a chill right through her very core. The sad truth was he was right, about some things anyway. Now the panic in Chuck's voice earlier made sense. The moron was convinced that she needed to be a spy. It's why he was working so hard to make the band successful, to buy some time. He'd deny it. Maybe he didn't even realize it. But he was doing this because he was afraid. The ridiculous cycle of the past five years had done some serious damage. He was afraid of losing her. He was doing this all for her. Carmichael Industries was a proxy, a proxy for being CIA Agents, even a proxy for their marriage. And she already knew the answer, but she asked anyway. "Let's assume that you're right. What do you get?"

Jones didn't answer her right away. He just grinned at her. "I get some things," he finally said. "You are unquestionably the sexiest thing on two legs. That makes you a very valuable property. You've turned a less than mediocre band into a sensation. Managed properly, we can turn that sexiness into something very lucrative. I'm thinking we go slutty. A leaked sex tape, an affair or two with high profile people, a centerfold spread in some leading men's magazine, who knows? In that vein, this would be the point where you take off your shirt and pose for my camera."

"Go to hell," she said. "Chuck will be pounding on that door in about two minutes or so wondering what's taking so long."

"I thought that might be your initial negotiating position," Jones said. "That's why I planned ahead. I'm afraid that you're wrong about your husband. He's currently taking… well maybe you'd call it a nap." He stepped up to Sarah and began to methodically unbutton her blouse.

Sarah's first reaction was to use her infamous left foot and kick this jerk's head clear off his shoulders. But she found that she could barely move. When she tried to reach up and push his hands away she was so weak that he easily ignored her and kept working on the buttons. "What did you do to us?" she asked.

"Insurance policy," Jones said as he pulled the now completely open blouse to each side exposing her chest. He paused for a moment to admire his handiwork. "Let's face some facts. Your husband seeing an edited version of us going at it in here will mess him up… well, forever. You could tell him you weren't willing until you're blue in the face. It won't matter a single bit. It's how we're going to control you. You'll do anything we ask to protect him from that heartbreak. Admit it, Agent Walker. We both know that's true. Okay, maybe you won't surrender willingly in this room tonight. But once you've thought about it for a while you'll quickly conclude that the occasional tasks you're assigned to keep us happy are worth it. You'll become our pretty little servant and hope that we don't ask for too much. Daniel said that it would work with you. I never should have doubted him. After all, the man is a genius. He is simply in love with the irony. The only way to save your husband is by betraying him."

Sarah tried to fight against the darkness consuming her. She called upon every bit of training to stay in control. But it was hopeless. It was everything she could do to stay standing. The worst part of all of this was that he was right. That would mess Chuck up forever. But she also could never willingly betray him. It was an impossible situation. "Please," she groaned. "Don't do this."

Jones just laughed as he rather roughly pushed her down to the couch. "This is going to be so much fun. I'll have to send Daniel a thank you card. Or second thought, you can thank him for me… in a manner of his choosing. It was one of his demands."

Suddenly the door flew open. "Hey," Jones shouted over his shoulder. "This is a private room."

Carina didn't answer him right away. She just stood grinning at him. "Apparently not anymore," she finally said.

"How did you get in here anyway?" Jones demanded. "The door was locked."

Carina was still grinning as she held up her tools for him to see. "I picked it," she said. "I'm actually quite good at it. It's a skill I learned when I was fourteen. Unfortunately, it ended up costing me a couple of years in juvenile detention. But that's a long story. Maybe we'll save that for another time."

"What are you doing in here?" Jones asked.

Carina's grin quickly faded as she glanced at her friend sitting numbly on that couch with her chest totally exposed. She didn't answer him. She just walked over to where Sarah was sitting and pulled her shirt back together and gently buttoned it. Carina leaned over and whispered in Sarah's ear. "Don't worry," she said. "It's all over. I'm here. He's never going to touch you again." She turned back to Jones. "What did you give her?" she asked.

"What are you, a cop?" Jones asked sarcastically. "Or are you writing a book?"

That got Carina's grin back. She held up her ID. "You were right the first time," she said. "Special Agent Carina Miller, D.E.A. I'm afraid that if I wrote a book, nobody would believe it. So if I searched you, I wouldn't find any Rohypnol? Or maybe a little coke?"

"You can't search me," Jones said with a smirk. "You're a cop. You should know this. You don't have a warrant. You're in here illegally. Anything you find would get thrown out by any good lawyer in a second. Now get out."

Carina shook her head. "Oh so close," she said. "And yet so far. This is a public place. You have no reasonable expectation of privacy in here. I got the okay from hotel security before I picked the lock. Here's a little free legal advice. The next time you are going to drug and rape somebody, I'd advise you to plan ahead and take her up to your hotel room, or better yet, your house. That would have given you a stronger privacy argument. But even then, there is this phrase they taught us in law school. Probable Cause. It's law enforcement's best friend. It even sounds good rolling off your tongue, doesn't it? Probable Cause."

"See this rather large guy?" Carina asked facetiously as she nodded to Casey who had just stormed into the room clearly looking for someone to hit. "Say those words to him and he's instantly a fire cracker. Well it might not work for you, but you get the point I'm trying to make, right? I just love saying it. Probable Cause. As it turns out, as a federal officer, I have the perfect right to enter, even a private place, if I have, yup you probably guessed, 'probable cause' to suspect that a felony is taking place. I'm afraid that your ill advised drugging of my good friend Chuck in plain sight gave me that probable cause, so thank you for that. I'm sure that you can hire the very best lawyers. They might try out of desperation to make the argument. But let's face facts. They would realize right away that they're going to lose. The drug charges, first time offense, you might be able to get some community service and probation. Attempted rape… I'm afraid that there isn't a judge in the country who would give you probation on that violent crime conviction… especially when the victim is someone who would be as sympathetic on the stand as Ms. Smile here. There is no prosecutor in the world who would risk the political firestorm that would follow any plea deal. The smart play would be to save the millions of dollars in legal fees, plead guilty, and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Even then, you're looking at some double digit years in a maximum security prison… unless we work something out."

"Fuck you," Jones said, intentionally drawing out the words.

Carina grinned again. "Totally your call," she said. "Part of me was hoping you'd say that. Enjoy your time in prison. I hear that they've improved the food quite a lot. It seems like some ironic justice to me anyway. Pretty boy rapist like you… scores of big harry sex deprived lifer convicts with nothing to lose… long hot steamy nights all together in a dark cell… you get my meaning, right?"

Jones thought about it for a moment. "What do you want?" he asked. "I have lots of money."

Carina shook her head in faux disappointment. "And, Jeff, here I thought you were so good at the legal thing," she said. "Surely you didn't just attempt to bribe a federal officer in front of this many witnesses. You're dumber than you look."

"What do you want?"

Carina's grin broadened. "You're clearly into the legal technicality thing," she said. "So let's make this technically legal. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney and to have one present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you at no charge. I'd ask you if you understand those rights. But of course you do. You're such a student of the law."

The smirk was long gone from his face. "You said that we could maybe work something out," Jones said. "What do you want?"

"I have a ton of personal discretion here," Carina said. "If I'm pursuing other leads, I can keep any evidence sealed for up to a year before formally filing charges. Most of this is up to Chuck and Sarah. I could see a scenario where they would want to avoid any publicity. Maybe you can come to some agreement with them where they could convince me that this was just a huge misunderstanding. If you were to willingly surrender any illegal substances currently in your possession and agree to be confined in your room under my good friend here, Colonel Casey's watchful eye until they are fully conscious and can make their wishes known, I might be convinced to hold off on slapping the cuffs on you and dragging your sorry ass downtown. Personally I'd also need an apology that I deemed to be sincere for you cursing at me. I don't think that was called for, do you? I didn't curse at you. It wasn't at all gentlemanly."

Jones knew that she was mocking him. She was clearly making no effort to hide it. But he also clearly had little choice. She had all the cards. So he took the bottles of Rohypnol and cocaine out of his pocket and handed them to her. "I'm very sorry," he said. "I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to them."

Carina pulled an evidence bag out of her purse, dropped the drugs into it, and retrieved the tape from the still running recorder. She turned to Casey. "Get this piece of smelly garbage out of my sight," she said. "Before I change my mind and curse at him. Or he accidently falls down some stairs. I'm not sure which."

Carina looked at Casey and placed her hand on his arm and rubbed it affectionately. "I get that you're livid," she said. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you. So am I. But please bite your lip. He can't fall down any stairs while he's in your custody and wind up with any busted ribs, not yet anyway. He may be of some use to us. Naturally, if he's stupid enough to try and run feel free to shoot him in the head. After he's secured, come down and find me. We'll, um, catch up."

"Maybe I can even whisper 'probable cause' in your ear a few times and see where that takes us."

x-x-x-x-x

Devon carefully scooped up a totally limp Sarah, carried his sister-in-law back to their suite and gently placed her on the huge bed where Casey had already, maybe not quite as gently, put Chuck. Ellie was already there watching her brother sleep. Carina followed them and handed Devon the bottle.

It's definitely Rohypnol," Carina said. "You can tell by the blue marker."

"Yeah," Devon sighed as he looked at his watch checking Sarah's pulse. "They should be okay. They really haven't had that much to drink. It'll take about six hours for the drug to wear off. But they should feel relatively fine once they wake up."

Ellie wrapped her arms around Carina. "Thank you," she said, her voice breaking with emotion. "You saved her… from a horrible…"

"Don't thank me," Carina interrupted. "I knew something was up the second I looked at Chuck's eyes. Besides, I owe her. She's saved me from about a thousand of these situations. If I had a dollar for every time some creep has tried to slip me a roofie… well, I could buy us all a nice lobster dinner. It feels good to be on the other side for once."

"Oh my God," Devon said, his voice no more than a whisper. "Look at them."

Ellie couldn't believe her eyes. Even barely conscious, they had somehow found their way across that huge bed to each other. Sarah had her head resting on his chest. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her as they comfortably snuggled. It was beyond adorable. If you didn't know that they had been drugged, you'd think they were just taking a nap. From the smiles on both faces, they looked unbelievably content. Ellie knew that there were happy tears streaming down her face at the incredible sight. She just didn't want to anything about it… and she couldn't have even if she had wanted to.

"They really have something special," Carina sighed. "She kept telling me that it was real. I guess I never truly got that until right now. Why don't you two go back down to the party? I'll sit with them for a while until they come around. If you run into Casey, send him up."

Devon looked at Ellie expectantly. "That's okay," he said. "You two have been talking about this party for weeks. I'll stay with them."

Ellie returned his look. "Are you sure?" she asked. "This might get… well you know what happened last time. I'm not sure if I can go party with Chuck and Sarah being like this anyway."

"I'm sure," Devon answered with a soft smile. "You know as well as I do that Chuck and Sarah are going to be fine as soon as they sleep it off. They'll probably feel a lot better than you will four hours from now. I'm going to enjoy watching Sarah 'negotiate' with this creep while I'm sober. That might be a little fun. Something tells me that he might be needing a doctor. Besides, I've seen Carina in action. If anybody tries anything with you tonight, she'll have them in cuffs."

Ellie's eyes sparkled. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "Especially thank you for trusting me. The truth is we also have something special. I've always known that. I've always been grateful. But sometimes I maybe take it… take you for granted. That's simply wrong of me. I'm very sorry. So with your permission, as soon as we get to our room, I'd like to make the rest of the night all about my amazing husband."

"Permission granted," Devon said with a grin.

As soon as they were in the hallway, Carina playfully bumped into Ellie, sending her stumbling into the wall. "He really doesn't know me at all, does he?" she asked laughing.

"I'm much more likely to have you in cuffs."

x-x-x-x-x

_A/N: So how many Daniels does Sarah know? Yeah, I know._

x-x-x-x-x


	7. The Marriage Counselor

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_Carina is kinda turning out to be the hero here. It wasn't my original plan. But I kinda like it. She's all over the map in fanfic, just like she was all over the map in the show. Most fanfic portray the Season 1 Carina, the loose cannon, the loose morals, and the loose clothes, lol. But she evolved in the show. She made sure that Sarah saw the tape of Chuck explaining what he did in Prague. She was a bridesmaid at their wedding. She fought alongside Chuck and Casey to save Sarah. And she was a fairly dedicated agent. There was the mega creepy (and just as mega unbelievable) thing with Morgan. But she did stand up and apologize, so I'm willing to forget that happened._

_In my stories, I quickly stopped using Carina. I invented original characters to be Sarah's only true spy friend so I could take them where I wanted without the confusion the show generated. Both Janice Beckman and Laura Carter are basically Carina. Now that I think about it, both of those characters ended up with Casey in basically a permanent relationship. I never bought Verbanski as a LI for Casey. Not for a second. Hmmm._

_Non Content Non Warning: I think we're done with the wild parties, at least for Sarah and Ellie, at least for now. If reading a story without one of them dancing naked in a drunken stupor would offend you, you might want to consider giving this story a pass, lol._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**The Marriage Counselor**

x-x-x-x-x

Carina and Ellie weren't even in the main room yet when they looked at each other. The party was clearly into the drunken, near orgy, stage. Not all of the women were naked… not yet anyway. But the trend was clearly heading in that direction.

Carina leaned in to speak into Ellie's ear to be heard over the loud music. "You really don't want to go in there," she said.

Ellie didn't answer, not with words anyway. She just shook her head sadly.

Carina grinned. "Go to your room," she said. "Get ready to give him a night that he'll never forget. I'll find Casey and we'll send him down."

"I assume you're talking about Devon," Ellie teased. "A night he'll never forget? I don't have the materials to make a pot roast."

"You'll have to go with the second thing," Carina said as they both started laughing and walked together down the hallway to the elevators. "From where I'm standing it doesn't seem like that much of a chore. Don't take this the wrong way, but he is probably the best looking dude I've ever seen. I have to admit, I was looking forward to seeing him without a shirt tonight. Does he look as good without clothes as he does dressed?"

Ellie knew that Carina was teasing about Devon. He so wasn't her type. That much was obvious. "I'm really sorry," she said. "I know that we've been looking forward to this for a long time. I'm afraid you'll have to wait to see Devon without a shirt. The short answer to your question is… oh my God, yes."

"Don't be sorry," Carina said. "What you have is… well, it's sweet. There's always the next wild party, probably sooner than later."

"Let me ask you something," Ellie said. "You and John?"

Carina took a long moment to figure out what she meant. Then she started laughing. "No," she said. "No… no… Ellie, no. It's not like that."

"We're friends, right?" Ellie asked. "You just expressed that you have the hots for my husband. I think that means you owe me a story. What is it like?"

Carina looked at Ellie for a long time. "Yeah," she said. "We're friends. I could count my friends on one hand and have fingers left over, but we're friends. For the record, I don't have the hots for Devon. I'm more into the bad boys. I just recognize that he's good looking… amazingly good looking. A doctor who looks like he does? I have no idea how you keep the nurses away from him."

"I don't," Ellie laughed. "They are all over him like fruit flies on an over ripe banana. They've even worked out a warning system when I'm on the floor. Fortunately Devon isn't at all interested. He had his wild side. He got it out of his system. Now he's a homebody. So quit trying to change the subject. We'll talk about the disgusting thing with Morgan some other time. Tell me about you and John."

It was the first time that Ellie ever saw her new friend blush. "I'm not sure I can explain Casey and me," she said.

Ellie knew that she had her friend over the barrel and wouldn't let it drop. "I suddenly have all night," she said. "Give it your best shot."

Carina paused for a long moment. "A spy's life is lonely," she finally said softly. "But put your cupid's bow and arrow away. There isn't room in my life for romance. There just isn't. So when you meet somebody who is in the same situation, what's the harm in making each other's loneliness go away for a night or two? Casey is a good guy." Carina started laughing. "I'm afraid he would hate my pot roast. So I have to go with the second thing. Don't judge me. Once you learn where the right buttons are and push them a couple of times, he's actually surprisingly good at it."

Ellie sided into Carina affectionately. "I'm not judging you," she insisted. "Not even a little bit. Maybe the next time we get together you can tell me about John's buttons in a little more detail. I think I may need a few drinks before I hear that story. And I'm going to need a whole lot of drinks to hear about Morgan's buttons. I am sad that you're lonely. You don't need to be. The next time you feel lonely and want to talk, no matter what time it is, call me."

Carina wrapped her free arm around Ellie. "Thanks," she said.

"I might just take you up on that."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was having such a nice dream. It was so nice that she didn't want to wake up. She was snuggled with Chuck. His arms were wrapped around her. She could feel his rhythmic heart beating. She felt so warm… so safe… so happy.

"Sarah, wake up."

There was that annoying voice again. But she didn't want to wake up.

"Sarah, come on. Wake up."

Sarah wanted to reach for a knife, find out whoever was slapping her face, and end them. But she finally pried her eyes open.

"How do you feel?" Carina asked.

It wasn't exactly the most comforting sight Sarah could imagine after being stirred out of such a sound sleep. Carina being in her bedroom with her and Chuck couldn't possibly be a good thing… on any level. _Just how wild did I get, anyway?_ At least she was dressed. Sarah finally took a glance at the room and gained a little more consciousness. When she tried to speak, she quickly found that her throat felt like sandpaper. "What happened?" she asked.

"We have a situation," Casey said.

Sarah looked to her side. "Chuck," she said semi-frantically as she reached over to him.

"Don't worry," Carina quickly said. "He'll be fine. Chuck got a bigger dose. He just wanted to take the fight out of you. He wanted you to still feel it."

Sarah was still shaking out the cobwebs. "He?" she asked. "Who is he?"

"Your friend, Jeff Jones," Casey said. "Apparently he's not exactly who he seems."

"The moron taped the whole thing," Carina said. "Can you come out to the living room and watch it? I don't think that Chuck will wake up any time soon."

"But it's probably better if he doesn't see this until you can talk to him."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah Walker Bartowski hardly ever cried, and almost never out loud. It was a sign of weakness that spies were trained to avoid showing to your enemies. Even before that, dad put his foot down early on. Crying was a tool to get people to do what you wanted, nothing more. Crying because you felt sorry for yourself was for suckers. And crying in front of another spy? She'd rather be tortured. Casey must have sensed that because he left before the recorded session was even half over to sit with Chuck. He closed the door so Sarah could openly sob on Carina's shoulder.

Of course this represented a new experience for Carina as well. And before today, she probably would rather have been tortured then go through it. But the simple truth was, she enjoyed it. Not her friend's genuine anguish of course. She hated that part. In fact had Jeff Jones been within easy reach, he would have suffered some serious damage. But she did find that she enjoyed the idea of being there for Sarah. After all, it had been the opposite about a gazillion times in the past. One thing was for sure, she had never seen her friend so messed up. It was more than a little scary. So she just held her and allowed her to sob for a long moment. But finally, the sobs slowed, probably more from exhaustion than anything else. "Why is this so bad?" Carina finally asked.

Sarah opened her mouth to speak. She just couldn't get the words out. "Jones was right," she finally said. "Chuck is messed up. They could really destroy him. There is no way I could watch that happen."

Carina's voice showed her surprise. "Surely you're not considering giving in to him?" she asked. "Why don't we let him rot in prison for a few years?"

Sarah shook her head as a new round of tears consumed her. "I'd never willingly betray Chuck," she sobbed. "The rotten bastard must know that. I might have once thought about it, but not now. And even if I was that desperate, it wouldn't work. They're not negotiating. The sonofabitch is still trying to break me. If I gave in, I'd be helplessly trapped. They would just keep demanding more and more and more degrading things until Chuck finally found out. I know that I can't just stand by and watch him be destroyed. And putting Jones in prison wouldn't fix this. He isn't even the main threat. There is a partner."

"Jones called him Daniel," Carina asked. "Do you have an idea who that might be?"

"I don't know many Daniels," Sarah sobbed. "He is already in prison. This is the worst thing that could possibly happen. Chuck is already hypersensitive about Shaw."

"Why don't you talk to him?" Carina asked gently. "Chuck's a reasonable guy. He honestly loves you. Tell him that being a spy is not a show stopper for you. I assume that's true, right?"

"Do you really think that I haven't told him that?" Sarah asked, probably a little harsher than was appropriate. "I've told him that until I'm blue in the face. It doesn't do one bit of good. He smiles, nods, and agrees… then he just keeps on worrying that I'm eventually going to choose being a spy over him."

Carina wasn't trying to rub anything in. She was just honestly trying to understand. "Why?" she asked.

But the question was like a knife deep into Sarah's heart. She started sobbing again. "Because of me," she eventually was able to choke out. "Why wouldn't he? Even you just questioned it. The truth is that I have chosen being a spy over him… so many times that I've lost track. He's taken far too many hits… too many times he handed his heart to me, I took it, dropped it on the floor and kicked it into a hundred pieces. He's gun shy. Why would he believe me? He has three long years of history telling him that he can't believe me."

"Come on," Carina scoffed. "You're telling me that you can't get your husband to believe that you love him?"

"It's not that," Sarah said. "You don't understand him. He knows that I love him. That's not nearly enough for him. He knew that his mom loved him. He knew that his dad loved him. He knew…" Sarah's lip began to tremble again. "It's hopeless. Maybe we can get some counseling… I don't know."

"Let me talk to him, get him to truly listen to you."

Sarah just stared at her.

"I know," Carina said with something approaching a smile. "Choosing me as your marriage counselor is… well, radical. But I think that an independent voice might just be what he needs."

"I know exactly what to do."

x-x-x-x-x

When Carina walked back into the bedroom, Chuck was sitting on the side of the bed talking to Casey. "Where is Sarah?" he asked.

"She's in the living room," Carina said. "Don't worry. She's fine. We got to her before anything bad happened. She's waiting to talk to you. But I'd like to talk to you for a second first… alone."

Casey didn't have to be asked twice. He was out of the room like he'd been shot out of a cannon. "I'll go check on Jones," he said over his shoulder.

Carina grinned at his hasty retreat. "Your girl is quite a handful," she said.

Chuck didn't know where this was going. So he just nodded.

"You should have seen her in the C.A.T. days," Carina said. "You've never seen a more dedicated spy. After an assignment ended, the other girls were always looking for some down time to relax. Not Walker. She lived for the next mission. I don't think I can remember seeing her crack a smile more than a handful of times. And any poor man who was stupid enough to approach her in a bar and try to buy her a drink, and trust me, plenty tried, it didn't work out so well for him. He came away with a minimum of a bruised ego, sometimes a bruised everything. Almost nobody liked her. She was one tough cookie… until she met you."

Carina smiled at the look on his face and sat down on the bed next to him. "I have to say, I'm impressed," she said. "When I first met you, I was stunned by the change. She was like this lovesick schoolgirl. Everybody could see that she was head over heals. Well, maybe everybody except you. Zondra told me that she couldn't believe she was the same person. Sarah Walker is not tamable. Everybody knows that. But you did a good job for longer than I ever thought possible. We both know that it's only a matter of time, you better than anyone, right? You can take the girl out of the spy life, but you can't take the spy out of the girl. That's what Carmichael Industries is, isn't it? Give her what she needs to stay happy?"

Chuck didn't answer. He just nodded sadly.

"Being a spy organization is ridiculously expensive," Carina said. "Ask the government. Sarah tells me that you're losing hundreds of millions of dollars. That's simply not sustainable for any private citizen. How are you going to keep her happy when the money runs out?"

Chuck didn't answer for a long moment. "I don't know," he admitted. "I'll have to figure something out. Do you have any ideas?"

Carina didn't say anything for a moment. "Maybe one," she finally said. She reached into the open collar of his shirt, grabbed a handful of chest hair, and pulled.

"Damn," Chuck exclaimed as he stood up out of range. "Are you crazy? That hurt. Why did you do that? I thought you wanted to be my friend?"

Carina never stopped smiling. "I do want to be your friend," she said. "There is one thing that you're going to find out about me. This is how I treat my friends, especially when they're being stupid. The CIA psych guys call it tough love. They admire it. Chuck, if I didn't want to be friends, the hair I grabbed would have been two feet lower. Let me ask you a question. Chuck, do you honestly want to stay married to Sarah?"

"What kind of question is that?" Chuck asked. "Of course I do."

"Then prove it," Carina said angrily. "Instead of guessing, find out what it is going to take to make her happy. You might be surprised at what you find. Stop being driven by fear. Storm in there right now and demand some answers. Why has she constantly hurt you? Don't be afraid to yell at her. I know that girl. She's going to try and deflect. Don't let her get away with that. Call her on every single thing she tries to evade. But don't stop until she's convinced you, one way or the other. Either she has the answers and you have something… or she doesn't and you don't. It's really as simple as that. You owe it to yourself to find out if you honestly have a future. But before you do, I want to show you something."

Carina pulled out her phone and showed him the picture of them snuggling. "Take a good look at that couple," Carina said. "This was a couple of hours ago. Those people are drugged out of their minds. They don't have the mental capacity to fake anything. Tell me that couple isn't meant to spend the rest of their lives together. Look at her face, Chuck. Tell me there is any other place she'd rather be. What you have with her is too rare. It's too special to piss away. Stop doing that. You're simply wrong about what she needs."

"Go in there and make her prove it to you."

x-x-x-x-x

"I don't want to lose you."

Sarah knew that she couldn't cry… not now. If she started crying again they wouldn't resolve anything. But the look on his face was beyond heartbreaking. "Chuck," she said. "I honestly don't know what to say to you. I'd tell you how stupid that sounds to me, that you couldn't possibly lose me. But that wouldn't do any good, would it? I've already told you that a million times. You clearly don't trust me. I don't want to lose you either. But let's face a very real truth. You're not happy. You're too busy being consumed by this irrational fear to be happy. It's time that you man up and tell me why so we can honestly fix it."

"What if we can't fix it?"

"That's not going to happen," Sarah said. "Because we're not going to leave this room until it's fixed. I know that you love me. You know that I love you. So let's not go to that dark place, not yet anyway. I'm trying hard to not cry as it is. I want you to see something."

Sarah knew that this was going to be hard for him to watch. But she resisted the strong temptation to snuggle with him while they watched what happened with Jones. And indeed, Chuck was quenching his fists in rage. "I know," she said. "We'll deal with him. I promise. But first let's deal with us. He was right about some things, wasn't he? Let's talk about that."

"I'm just trying to give you what you need," Chuck said. "Why is that wrong?"

That actually got the beginning of a sad smile. "It's not wrong," Sarah said. "In fact, it's sweet. You're just wrong about what I need. You're killing yourself trying to give me something that I don't need, in fact I don't even want."

"Okay," Chuck said angrily. "This isn't going to work unless you're honest with me. You're telling me that you don't want to be a spy? Sorry, I'm not buying it."

"I know," Sarah said. "That's exactly what we have to fix. It's absolutely true. We're not leaving this room until you do buy it."

"Come on, Sarah!" Chuck yelled. "That's crap and you know it. Look at our history. Being a spy has always come before me to you. For two long years you told me that as long as you were my handler we couldn't be together. That day when I finally got the Intersect removed I thought it was finally going to happen. Then the very next day I find out you're leaving with Bryce. Do you have a clue what that felt like? You constantly resisted us being together… until almost the very day that I became a full certified agent. Even after we got married, the night we talked about forming Carmichael Industries was probably the most excited I've ever seen you. It was the hottest sex we've ever had. So now you're telling me that you don't want to be a spy? Really? Sorry, I don't believe that."

Sarah took a long moment to gather her composure. "I get why you don't believe it," she finally said. "All of this is totally my fault. I treated you so horribly for so long, and now you're messed up. You've come to expect it. I can't tell you how badly that makes me feel. But you're coming to some incorrect conclusions. At least give me a chance to correct the record."

Chuck didn't answer, he just nodded.

"At first you were right," Sarah said. "I was on a mission when I first met you, and that came first. But that quickly turned. For most of that time I wasn't putting the mission ahead of you. You're wrong about that. I wasn't going to leave with Bryce. I had already told him that. I was trying to tell you on the dance floor but your dad interrupted us before I could get to it. Okay, yes. I allowed you to have a very bad day. That was unacceptable to do to someone that you love."

"Then why?" Chuck demanded.

"I was scared," Sarah said. "Look, I'm not very proud of those first two years. I wouldn't allow us to go forward. I let you twist in the wind, just giving you enough to stay hooked. I get that you interpret that as me choosing being a spy over you. But that wasn't it. The truth is I hid behind my job because I was scared. I'd never been in love before. It scared me. I didn't know what to do about it. I took the cowardly way out. I simply denied it for as long as I could. I understand now how much that hurt you. I can tell you I'm sorry a million times and it wouldn't be enough. I took the only man I've ever loved and crushed him. It's something that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. Chuck, if I saw someone hurt you as badly as I did, I'd hunt them down and tear them apart with my bare hands. The only thing that I can think of is to try and make it up to you somehow."

Chuck just starred at her.

"Then you blew me off in Prague," Sarah continued sadly. "I was devastated. I didn't get out of bed for a week. I wished I had never been born for a long, long time. I was in a hopeless situation. You wanted to be a spy. Who was I to get in the way of that? So I tried to move on. But it hurt so badly. It was hopeless. That's why Shaw happened. I was desperate. If I had realized that you were doing it for me, I'd have done something about it. The truth is I've never wanted you to be a spy. I still don't."

"Sarah," Chuck said skeptically. "You've had plenty of chances to get me, get us out of the spy life. You turned every one down."

"You're not listening to me," Sarah all but shouted. "Damn it, Chuck, you never listen to me. Okay, yes, I've made tons of mistakes. I've been a coward. I'm ashamed of that. But in this situation, I was doing what I thought that you wanted. Do you really think that you're the only one here who wants the other to be happy? And it was the easy way out for me. We clicked as spies. You seemed happy. If I had a clue that you were doing any of that for me, we would still be on that train in France. If you don't believe that, I don't know what to tell you."

Sarah took a breath and calmed herself down. "I'm a lousy wife," she said. "I get that. There are things that I haven't told you, things that a husband deserves to know. But those things have nothing to do with being a spy. It's just hard for me to open up. But that's just a stupid excuse. You're my husband. You deserve for me to open up to you."

"What kind of things?" Chuck asked.

"I have a safe house," Sarah said. "I bought it years ago when I was stationed in Washington. Most spies do. Someplace that even the CIA doesn't know about to drop off the grid and lay low. I never told you because I was afraid that you might take it the wrong way. At first I didn't want you to think that I was leaving open a way to run. After time went by, it just became too hard to tell you why I hadn't told you. That was stupid of me. I didn't trust you enough. So I need to fix that. It's actually about an hour's drive from here. We can go together and see it tomorrow. We should probably sell it."

Sarah paused for a long moment. "But that's not the big thing," she said. "I never told you about my mom."

"You have a mom?" Chuck asked.

"She lives about an hour away from our place in Burbank," Sarah said. "I've been dying to take you to meet her. There's a reason I haven't told you about her. But it wasn't good enough. It's not something that a wife keeps from a husband. It's a long story, one that we don't have time for today. Maybe when we get home, I can tell you about it in the car while we drive to see her."

"I'd like that," Chuck said.

"I'd like it too," Sarah said. "She is going to absolutely flip to find out that I'm married, especially to someone as nice as you are. She, um… she never approved of my choices in men. She wasn't wild about the spy thing. That's understatement. She made zero effort to be nice to Bryce. Fair warning, she might be pissed at missing the wedding for a while. But she is absolutely going to love you. Be prepared to be hugged… a lot."

"Okay."

"I get why you don't trust me," Sarah said continued. "I do. I never wanted to talk about us, never wanted to talk about the future, wouldn't talk about starting a family, all of those things that a wife owes her husband."

Suddenly the epiphany hit Sarah between the eyes. Instantly it all became clear. "Oh my God," she said. "That's it. You think that I don't want kids because I still want to be a spy someday."

Chuck didn't deny it. "You have to admit," he said. "Having a baby is not something a spy would do."

Sarah slid over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed with everything she had. "Chuck," she said. "Sweetie, do you really think that I don't want kids? I'll admit that the thought of being a mom has always been a little scary to me. It still is. I think it's scary for most people. But I want kids. I want it more than you do. I daydream about it all the time. I want to see what they're going to look like. I want to see you as a dad. You're going to be so great at it. But most of all, I want to do a better job than our parents did. I thought you always knew that. Maybe it's time we got on with it."

"We're being honest in here," Chuck said. "Having a family means the end of our spy careers. I don't want you to do that for me. I can wait until you're ready."

For the first time tonight, Sarah felt this was going to work out. So her smile was genuine. "I'm not doing anything for you," she said. "At least not just for you. Being a spy was the right thing for me at the time. I really don't regret it. But that part of my life is over. And the truth is that I'm happy it's over. Chuck, I never wanted you to be a spy. If having a baby together would put an end to your doubts, well that's just a bonus."

"Sarah," Chuck said, his voice broken with emotion as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm going to ask one more time. Are you sure that you don't need being a spy to be happy? Once you're pregnant there's no turning back."

It was hard to watch him so emotional and keep her vow to not start bawling. "Ask a million more times," Sarah said as she struggled to keep her composure. "Ask as often as you want. I'll never get tired of answering you. In fact, I'd much rather have you ask than worry about it in silence. My answer is always going to be the same. I was never truly happy as a spy. I never laughed. I never loved. I was a miserable, driven shell of a person. People didn't like me. I didn't like me. I could never, ever go back to the way things were before. I found what I need to be truly happy… and it's you. I love you. Chuck, maybe I didn't sometimes act like it, but I always have. We're going to have a baby. I'm so excited at the prospect of having your baby that I can barely hold still. Please tell me that you finally believe me."

Chuck was now openly sobbing. "I love you too."

And just like that, the vow was broken. Sarah held him close and sobbed right back. "I know that you do," she said. "I don't question that. If anything, you love me too much. I'm not complaining. But it does let me hurt you easily and not realize it. It's something that we'll have to be more aware of." She snuggled comfortably with him for a long, long time and waited until his sobs finally subsided. "We have something to do," she finally said.

"I know," Chuck said. "Without Carmichael Industries, we don't need the Buy More. Sales are up. It would be a good time to sell. Do you still want to be in the band?"

Sarah clamped her mouth to his. "We need to talk about our future," she said with a grin as the long kiss finally broke. "I don't deny that. But we have some work to do first."

"I know," Chuck sighed. "We have to deal with them. Daniel must be Shaw, right?"

Sarah joined his sigh. "How many Daniels do you know?" she asked. "Yes, we have to deal with them. But that's not even first on the list. We have some really important work to do that can't wait."

For the first time in a long while, Sarah actually laughed at his confused look. "We have a baby to make," she said. "I trust that you know how. I'll admit that I use sex too much to compensate for my other shortcomings. But now that you've unwittingly fallen into my trap and I have a good reason, expect me to shift into another gear. Tell me, do you like raw oysters?"

That actually got Chuck laughing through his tears. "I have to admit," he said. "All of my previous experiences have been concentrated more on how to prevent it from happening."

"But I'll give it a shot."

x-x-x-x-x


	8. The Negotiation

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_Another one of the things I don't get. Forget how Shaw could control Decker from a prison cell. Forget (for now) how they could possibly have allowed Shaw to remain an Intersect in prison. Forget (again, for now) how Shaw could have survived for well over a year without a governor. Why couldn't Beckman stop Decker? Decker was simply an agent. Beckman was head of the freaking NSA._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**The Negotiation**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was flat on her back helplessly straining with every fiber trying to force as much air into her lungs as physically possible. Finally she had recovered enough to speak. "One thing is for sure," she said. "You said that the night we talked about forming Carmichael Industries was the hottest sex we've ever had? Well I think you'd agree that night just got left standing in the dust. Since you're the one apparently keeping track of such things, I hope you get the significance."

Chuck was also flat on his back beside her. He knew that she had just taken a semi teasing shot at him. But her point was a lot more than semi valid. She wanted to start a family much more than she wanted to be a spy. Worrying about that so much was rather silly, and apparently always had been. Quite frankly, it felt like someone had just taken a thousand pound weight off of his chest. Well, maybe 'someone' wasn't totally accurate. It wasn't someone. It was the blonde goddess that was laying there naked beside him grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Chuck couldn't let her shot go without a response. Unfortunately he wasn't quite in the cardio-vascular shape that his lovely wife was. So it took a moment longer for him to recover. "Mrs. Bartowski," he finally said, still panting for breath. "You could have maybe told me that BEFORE we lost half a billion dollars. I'm just saying." Then he saw her look and quickly retreated. "That was amazing. You were a wild thing. So on behalf of my millions of swimmers I just have to ask… do you feel pregnant?"

That got them both laughing. "I'm not sure," Sarah said. "I don't know exactly what that feels like. I'm definitely feeling something. I do know that I'm not prepared to take any chances. So quickly round your swimmers into shape. Put them on full alert. Cancel all leave. Train them night and day until they're prepared to do this at least three times a night… until such time as I have my first ultrasound."

"What happens then?"

"We're still going to be doing this three times a night," Sarah said with a grin. "I kinda like that idea. But we'll go back to it being just for fun. That should take the pressure of the swim team. Until then, understand something… your ass, and your swimmers, are mine. Do you think I was kidding about the raw oysters?"

"No, ma'am," Chuck said.

Sarah reached over and gave him a short peck. Then after looking at him for a moment she reached down again and gave him a full on kiss… and then another. It wasn't sexual… not really. It was far better than that. It was tender, loving, pure electric.

Chuck definitely noticed. "That was nice," he said. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Sarah said as she plopped her head unto his chest in her favorite position. "I'm just really, really happy, sweetie. I'm glad that we got all of that crazy doubt behind us. I get that we're already really good at the sex thing. I need to get better at the affectionate thing when we're not in bed. That is something a husband deserves. It feels so great to just be a normal couple. If Jones was going to live much longer, I'd have to send him a thank you card."

Chuck's retort that Jones already having seen her without her shirt was probably thanks enough died on his lips. What good would it do to dredge that up? It wasn't her fault. "Jones isn't the real problem, is he?" he finally sighed.

Sarah paused for a long moment. "No," she finally admitted. "He's not. Chuck, please…"

Chuck took full measure of the concern in her voice. "I'm not jealous of Shaw," he interrupted with a laugh. "Please give me a little more credit than that. Don't worry. I'm not trying to dent your good mood… but I doubt that we are ever going to be a totally normal couple. Being the most beautiful woman in the world makes you a target. And not just in the spy sense or in a necessarily bad way. But men are always going to notice you. I still reserve the right to be jealous sometimes… but not of this guy. You hate his guts. And he yours, by the way."

Sarah basically collapsed into him in relief. "Thank you," she said. "It's okay to be jealous sometimes. We'll deal with it. I promise to be fully supportive. And he yours also, by the way."

"I know," Chuck said softly. "I guess we have to get dressed and deal with this."

"I don't want to," Sarah whined in perfect three year old mode as she snuggled into him.

"I want to stay here… forever."

x-x-x-x-x

Since Jeff Jones wasn't technically in custody, there really wasn't any justification for keeping him cuffed. The security guards that Casey assigned made sure that he didn't use the phone. But otherwise, he was just confined to his hotel suite.

He clearly didn't know what to expect when Chuck and Sarah, accompanied by Casey and Carina entered the room. He was clearly a little unnerved. What he probably didn't expect was the open faced slap that Sarah applied to his face. Since it was delivered from the top of Sarah's boots, he saw it coming a split second before it handed. Still, the force of the blow knocked him off balance for a moment.

Jones wasn't a spy. He had never seen Sarah in action before. That in itself wasn't unusual, most hadn't. But it also meant that he didn't know about her favorite fighting move. The slap was merely a distraction. He was so busy rubbing his face that when Sarah's hellacious left foot impacted just under his jaw, he never saw it coming. The blow was devastating. It landed with a sickening snap. It kinda looked like a cartoon as Jones went flying through the air, bounced rather ungracefully off the wall, and collapsed onto the floor in an unconscious heap.

Sarah walked up to the unconscious pile, nostrils still flaring. "You waited for me to wake up," she growled facetiously. "It seems only fair that I wait for you to wake up. I'll be back."

Sarah turned to Chuck who had his mouth open. No matter how many times you saw it, Sarah's kick was still awe inspiring. "Full disclosure," she said. "I rather enjoyed that. But it doesn't mean that I still want to be a spy. I don't. Please don't get that thought back in your head. Agreed?"

Chuck was still slack jawed from the impressive kick staring at Jones in a heap. He just nodded.

That got a smile. "Good," Sarah said. "Just making sure. More full disclosure. That kinda turned me on. We're going to have to find a way for normal girls to kick people. Maybe if the plumber doesn't do a good job. Anyway, we now find ourselves with some time on our hands. I think just enough time for impregnation attempt #2. Can you get some swimmers ready on short notice?"

That got Chuck smiling as well. "Yes, ma'am," he said. "Per your orders, I put them on full alert."

Chuck stopped on his way out of the room and wrapped his arms around Carina. "Thank you," he said. "You really came through for us… on several levels."

Carina was clearly surprised by such a strong show of affection, from anybody really, but especially from Chuck. So it took a moment for her to gather her wits and return the embrace. "You're welcome," she said.

Sarah was a hard person to read, and her sly smile at the scene she was witnessing doubly so. Finally she grabbed his arm and pulled them apart. "Getting revved up for attempt #2?" she asked with a half grin. "I gotta tell you, I'd honestly prefer that you ate some raw oysters."

Chuck knew that she was teasing. Well, he hoped she was teasing.

Sarah turned to Carina. "Chuck's right," she said. "You really came through for us. Thank you. I guess that you deserve a reward. So you get an affectionate hug from the nicest guy in the world for saving the day." She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room. She half turned to speak over her shoulder.

"Just so we understand each other, that was a one time offer."

x-x-x-x-x

Once again Sarah found herself helplessly gasping for breath. "Nice work," she finally was able to squeak out. "Maybe this making a baby thing isn't going to be such a chore after all."

"Yeah," Chuck was finally able to agree. "It was genius. Maybe I should get insecure more often."

That got a frown. "I could live without that part," Sarah said.

"I know," Chuck quickly said. "I was just teasing. Actually, I could live without it too. I'm just enjoying the hot sex. Are we really going to do this three times a night?"

Sarah looked at him thoughtfully. "Well," she said. "We're certainly not limited to only three times a night. I'm prepared to fully participate as many times as you can physically accommodate me."

That got then both laughing.

After a moment Sarah got serious. "We both want this," she said. "I know that you're willing to kill yourself trying to give me what I want. But I also don't ever want you to feel that it's an obligation. That would kill the fun. I'm just as willing as I ever was to try and make this exciting for you. If you ever need something…"

That got Chuck laughing. "You're kidding, right?" he asked. "The sexiest woman in the world is willing to make love with me three times or more a night with the goal of having our first child… and you worry that it's not exciting enough? Really?"

Sarah smiled at him. "Point taken," she said. "Sweetie, in that vein, I need a big favor."

Chuck took full measure of her tone. She was not kidding. "Shoot," he quickly said.

"I know how this is going to sound," Sarah said softly. "I'm not jealous. I'm just saying it might be better if I didn't have to see you hugging Carina again." She saw the look on his face. "Save your breath," she quickly said. "I get that you would never cheat on me, especially with Carina. This is not that. I want you to be friends with her. I know that you didn't mean anything by it. It was just your way of thanking her. Chuck, I don't want you to feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. But maybe we can find another way to thank her. I'm not particularly proud of feeling this possessive. But I do. I've seen her devour too many men who had the illusion that they were in control. Yesterday I wouldn't have said anything. But since our talk, we've agreed to be more open and honest, right?"

"We have," Chuck agreed, making sure his smile didn't come across as making fun of her. "I'll be very sensitive around Carina. Is there anything else?"

"As long as we're having this discussion," Sarah said. "It might be best if you were sensitive around any women. Well, I guess you can hug Ellie. And you're not going to have much choice when you meet my mom. But now that we're not spies anymore we should start acting like it. Men are going to stare at me. Women are going to stare at you. There's nothing we can do about that. But we're both pretty possessive people. It makes sense that we start being more sensitive when we might be making each other jealous… actually me just as much as you. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Chuck quickly said. "I'm not sure that women stare at me."

"Chuck," Sarah said. "You honestly don't notice the way Marcy is always ogling you?"

"Marcy, our bass player's wife?" Chuck asked in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure."

"I'll take your word for it," Chuck said. "I get that I'm traditionally pretty clueless about these things. So if I'm being insensitive, please let me know before taking my head off and I'll stop."

"I will," Sarah said. "Since we're having this discussion, let's talk about the band. There is really no reason to continue with the band. We don't need the money."

"Sarah," Chuck said. "Be honest with me. Do you want to quit the band? It looks like you're having fun. Is that an act?"

"It's been a lot of work," Sarah said. "Especially for you. And that's one of those things I need to start being a lot more sensitive too. I get that watching me dance around the stage in those skimpy outfits might be hard for you."

"But that's not what I asked," Chuck said softly. "I get that I'm a pretty jealous guy. I appreciate you trying to be sensitive. But I can honestly say I've never had an ounce of jealousy watching you perform. That's not my wife up there. It's Sara Smile. I get a front row seat every night. I love watching her. And unlike the other tens of thousands of unfortunate men, I get to meet Sara Smile in her dressing room and watch her slowly undress for my amusement. Not to be indelicate, and I'm not in any way suggesting this, but tickets to that would sell like hotcakes."

That got them both laughing. "I'll bet," she said.

"This is one of those honesty things we're trying," Chuck said. "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. What do you honestly want to do?"

Sarah looked at him for a long moment. "I'm having fun," she finally admitted. "A lot more than I ever thought I would."

"Then we should keep doing it," Chuck said. "We just have to understand that being in a band means some things. It means skimpy outfits. It means wild parties that we're expected to attend. It means people, mostly men, surrounding you looking for autographs."

"I get that," Sarah said. "Maybe we can ease up a little… less work and more fun. I'll tone down the outfits a smidge. We'll end the silly pretend triangle thing with Lester that was making me throw up in my mouth a little anyway. We'll put in an appearance at the parties and leave early."

"I still owe you a wild night," Chuck said with a grin. "We'd better hurry before you find yourself pregnant. Last night didn't work out so well."

Sarah got a little quiet. "You don't owe me anything," she said. "Last night worked out perfectly. I found out everything that I wanted to know. When Jones was unbuttoning my blouse, telling me all about the disgusting things that he was going to do to me, then gloating about how he was going to use the tape to destroy you… and I couldn't stop him. Sweetie, that was maybe the worst moment of my life. I never want to be in that condition again. So if it's okay with you, I'd like to reserve my being wild time exclusively for my husband. I promise we'll still find some time to get wild together. I need that just as much as you do. If we keep going with the band, I want your promise. Whenever anything bothers you, even a little bit, you be honest and tell me. We'll deal with it. Agreed?"

Chuck pulled her close.

"Agreed."

x-x-x-x-x

"So how do you know Daniel Shaw?"

Jones looked around the room uncomfortably, clearly unsure of how much to say. Finally Carina had had enough. "Look here, moron," she said. "We don't have to do this. You wanted to make a deal to keep from going to prison? Well this is the deal. Take it or leave it. You'd better decide right now who you're more afraid of. Daniel Shaw? Or the hairy, sex deprived, lifer convicts with nothing to lose that you'll be sharing a cell with every night? You are seriously pissing me off."

Jones turned back to Sarah. "You assaulted me," he said. "I could have you put in jail."

Carina just laughed. "Go ahead and press charges," she said. "I'll arrest her right now. That might be a little fun. The county jail is about four doors down. Since this is my home district, I'm in this court about once a week. I know all of the judges very well. Judge Abrams is clearly the toughest. Even if she draws him, she'll be out on her own recognizance in about twenty minutes. The case will most likely be dismissed before any trial. Worst case, she'll plead guilty to simple assault, the judge will look at the tape of the extenuating circumstances, review the long impressive record of her amazing service to the democracy, and her sentence will be a mild scolding. Then he'll invite her into his chambers, apologize for being harsh earlier, offer her a glass of some special imported ice tea he's really fond of, fan boy all over her for a while, ask her to sign an autograph for his teenage nephew, maybe ask her about getting a back stage pass the next time she's in town, and thank her for stopping by."

Carina paused for a moment to wink at Chuck. "Don't worry," she said. "He's pushing eighty." Then she turned back to Jones. "The imported ice tea is actually surprisingly tasty. Not exactly intimidating, is it? Don't delude yourself. You have exactly one card to play here. Face her and truthfully answer every question she asks. I'm really not prepared to tell you again."

Jones took a deep breath. "He's my brother-in-law," he said. "He married my sister."

That certainly changed the mood in the room. "Evelyn Shaw was your sister?" Sarah asked.

"She was," Jones said. "I can't claim that we were all that close. But still, when you get a chance to get revenge on the person who murdered your sister…"

Chuck pushed in front of his wife protectively. "Get something straight, low life," he growled as he put his face directly into Jones'. "Sarah didn't 'murder' anybody. Whatever she did was a valid assignment in service of her country. We're sorry that someone had to lose their life. That's not something we take lightly. But say the word 'murder' to her again and it will be me that Carina arrests for simple assault. Got that?"

"Chuck," Sarah said lightly. "It's okay."

But Chuck didn't back down. It wasn't until Sarah physically pulled him away that he broke eye contact. "It's not okay," he said.

"Daniel Shaw is in prison," Sarah said, more to change the subject. "He isn't allowed visitors. How do you speak with him?"

"I don't," Jones said. "There is a CIA Agent. He's the one who approached me. He knew everything about me. He told me that Daniel had sent him."

"Why would he do that?" Sarah asked.

"He said that you were traitors," Jones said. "He said that Carmichael Industries wasn't an honest business, that you were into some pretty evil things, and he was trying to shut it down. He said that he had frozen your assets and was making it very hard for you, that you were posing as a band to make money to keep your business going. And he knew that I was in the business. He wanted me to get him a tape of Sara Smile in a compromised position, willingly if possible, but by any means necessary, his exact words. He said that he would take it from there."

"And you agreed?" Carina asked.

"Not at first," Jones insisted. "Whatever you think of me, I'm not really that kind of guy. That's when he told me that you were the person who murd… umm, killed Evelyn. He put on the full court press. He said that I could be of service to my country, that I'd be a hero. Not only that, I'd get revenge on the person who killed my sister, make some serious money, and have a good time with the sexiest woman around. He told me not to worry about trying to be gentle… that whatever happened to you, you were actually getting off easy."

"Okay," Carina said. "So you make a porn tape starring a barely conscious Sarah. Then what?"

"I don't know after that," Jones said. "After I delivered the tape, he said that he would take it from there. He promised me he'd make sure that 'the bitch' would do anything I demanded after that. He told me to use that to make as much money off her as I could. He didn't say how. But let's face it, he didn't have to. In this business, sex sells."

Chuck was struggling to keep the rage contained enough to speak. And he already knew the answer before he asked anyway. "What's this lowlife agent's name?" he growled.

Jones looked around the room uncomfortably. "He's not a pleasant man," he finally said. "He threatened me with some pretty horrible things if I didn't come through."

"He said that his name was Agent Decker."

x-x-x-x-x


	9. The Reluctant Spy

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**The Reluctant Spy**

x-x-x-x-x

"I really don't want to do this."

Carina did a double take. "Why?" she asked. "It's a piece of cake. It doesn't get any easier than this. We get Jones to arrange a meeting to collect the sex tape. Decker would have no reason to suspect that we'll be there waiting. We ask him what in the hell is going on. If he doesn't want to tell us, we tranq him and take him someplace where we ask him less nicely. If you don't want to, I'll do it. Casey can back me up."

"You can't have any part of this, Carina," Sarah said. "Think about it. You are an active agent. Decker is your superior. The second that he can document you refusing a valid order from him, he's got you by the short hairs. By all accounts he'd have no qualms about using that against you. Just how long do you think it will take him to have you on your knees saving your career? And if that doesn't work, talking him out of putting a sanction out on you? I'm not an agent. He can't order me to do squat. And as far as getting me on my knees, well good luck with that one."

Sarah paused for a moment then turned to Chuck. "I don't want to do this," she said. "I don't want to put any ideas in your head about me being a spy. We just got over that."

"Sarah," Chuck said as soothingly as he could. "You're underestimating me a little. I'm okay with this. I don't want to do it either. But they've given us no choice. As far as you being a spy, well, this is a one time thing. We're going to figure out what Shaw is up to, end him, and forget he ever existed. Besides from the stories you always tell, getting Carina on her knees isn't all that impressive. You on the other hand… are most challenging. I seriously don't think that Decker has much of a shot."

Sarah ignored his teasing. She just shook her head defiantly. "I don't trust you," she said. "I know. That sounds horrible. I'm not trying to start anything. But I know you. You'll smile, nod your head, and tell me what you think I want to hear. In a way, it's sweet. That's what makes you you. But it's also massively frustrating. Inside you'll worry. You'll analyze this to death like you always do and allow your fear to come up with the worst possible ridiculous conclusion. Chuck, we're in such a good place right now. I'm so happy. I can't go back to the way things were yesterday. Please, sweetie, I'm begging you, please don't let that happen."

"I understand what you're saying," Chuck said. "I'll freely admit that I've done exactly that in the past. I'm embarrassed. But the truth is that I'm just as happy as you are. I can't go back to the way things were before any more than you can. What's it going to take to convince you? Whatever it is, I'll do it."

"That's just it," Sarah said. "I don't really know. You're going to have to do something that tells me you've really changed. All I can say is that I'll know it when I see it. Now, let me talk to Carina for a while alone about the details. I meet you back in our room. Maybe I can even get her over your vicious crack about her knees… which was totally accurate by the way."

"Very funny," Carina said. "For the record, I may have taken the early lead. But from the stories I'm hearing I'll bet that you're closing really fast."

x-x-x-x-x

As soon as Sarah left Jones' suite one of the security guards approached her. "Ms Smile," he said. "I was asked to give this to you."

Sarah curiously unfolded the note. There was a room key inside.

_Come to room #1246 immediately. This is life or death. Come alone._

Sarah audibly groaned out loud. That was Lester's room. This was maybe the worst thing that could happen right now. She desperately wanted to go talk to Chuck. In any event, she sure as hell wasn't in the mood for one of Lester's mind games. And using terms like 'life or death?' Maybe it was time she let him know what those words mean to a spy. So she stomped down the hall, fully prepared to very pointedly tell him the story of the little boy who called wolf… and if that didn't go well, perhaps relieve him of one of his testicles.

But when she entered the room, she audibly gasped. Things had just gotten a bit more complicated. The large man standing there was most definitely not Lester. But frankly all Sarah could see was the huge weapon pointed directly at her. Sarah had been in a ton of situations in her years as a spy. But to be honest, this unnerved her a little. So she placed her hands on her head in a show of surrender. "How did you get in here?" she asked. "Where's Lester?"

"I'm going to be the one asking the questions," he said. "Immediately do what you're told and this can have a happy ending. Understand?"

Sarah had little choice. His weapon simply dominated her field of vision. So she nodded.

"When I ask you a question, I expect a response," he said. "Anything else is rather rude. Don't you think?"

"Yes, sir," she said. Sarah noticed the way he was looking at her right away. She had seen that look of lust maybe a million times. And it always meant one thing. Sure enough, she was right.

"Take off your shirt," he said. "I need to make sure you're unarmed."

Again, Sarah had no choice. "Sir, I'll do anything you ask," she said as her fingers found the top button of her blouse. She moved quickly, if only to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. "But please don't point that thing at me like that. You look nervous. Please calm down. It might go off."

"Just do what you're told," he said. Quickly enough her shirt was on the floor. At least he had dropped the lame excuse of searching for weapons. "Keep going."

"Sir, please don't make me do this," Sarah said. But she already knew the answer so she slid down her slacks. She placed her hands on her head again as she stepped out of them. "I'm married. He… umm, he's pretty conservative about these things. He wouldn't understand."

The man took his time as he very overtly checked Sarah out from head to toe and back again, pausing on each trip to gawk at her bare chest as she stood there in only her shear panties. "Nice try," he said. "You have a fantastic body… the parts I can see anyway. But you're not finished."

Sarah looked at him for a long moment. If anything, his weapon looked even larger. Finally with a sigh she rather shyly slid the final article of clothing down her legs and stepped out of them. All she could do was stand there helplessly with her hands on her head unable to cover anything. She could feel the weakness in her knees as she stood there basically posing for him in the fully lit room waiting for his next instruction. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. His eyes clearly told of his approval.

"Come here."

There was little question as to what was coming next. Sarah swallowed and hesitantly closed the distance between them.

"Convinced yet?" Chuck asked with a grin. "Full disclosure. I rather enjoyed that. But it doesn't mean that I still want to be a spy. I don't. Please don't get that thought back in your head. Agreed?"

That got them both laughing. Sarah had to admit, her husband had just gone a hundred miles out of his comfort zone to do something he knew she'd enjoy. His unspoken message to her couldn't have been clearer. She didn't have to fear any relapse from him. Sarah had never been so relieved in her life. "Duly noted," she said. "Nice gesture. Thank you for that. You really have changed. I could see the look in your eyes right away. I have to say my knees were weak. I was sure you could see my hands shaking with excitement when you told me to start stripping. So tell me, Chuck, was that really so hard?"

Chuck looked down in disbelief. "Umm, it's pretty hard," he said. "What are you going to do about it?"

That got them laughing even harder. "It's very hard," Sarah agreed with a giggle. "I have to say, Mr. Bartowski… that's a mighty impressive weapon you're packing. Most extraordinary considering it's the third time today. You must be eating the raw oysters I suggested. Smart move already being naked. It will save us some serious time." She paused to grin at him. "Life or death? What's up with that?"

"Life or death might be a little bit of an exaggeration," Chuck admitted. "But I have some swimmers who are definitely getting more than a little antsy. More full disclosure. Your performance just now kinda turned me on."

"No kidding?" Sarah asked sarcastically.

"We're going to have to find a way for normal girls to strip for their husband's enjoyment," Chuck replied with his classic grin. "I don't think the plumber not doing a good job is going to cut it."

Sarah wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. "You don't ever, ever need a reason," she said as soon as the urgent kiss broke. "Get that thought out of your head. Your taking charge like that is my very favorite thing. Please feel free to do it as often as you'd like. In fact I'd consider it an act of love and be very appreciative. The honest truth is that you're not a tenth as turned on as I am right now. Maybe next time you can even take the role a little farther. I'd like that a lot, sir."

Chuck didn't really answer. It was more of an embarrassed nod as he scooped her up and carried her to the bed.

"Isn't this Lester's bed?" Sarah asked. "I have to admit that I'm on fire. But that's kinda gross."

"He didn't sleep here last night," Chuck explained. "It's why I picked this particular venue. Do you really think I would ask you to get between Lester's soiled sheets? I know that spies are supposed to be fearless, but that scares the hell out of me."

"We're no longer spies, sir," Sarah protested in a teasing tone. "We're now just pretending. So that's not the only thing that should really scare you. I don't think I've ever been more excited. You're taking quite a chance. What happens if I find myself having the time of my life in Lester's bed? Aren't you afraid that I might want to relive the experience of this bed again? And then yet again? Maybe it could even become an addiction? I'm fairly sure that Lester would be open to the idea of me being addicted to wild sex in his bed. And even if he wasn't, I'm sure I could talk him into it."

That got them laughing again. "I'll risk it," Chuck said.

Sarah reached over and kissed him again. Maybe this time wasn't quite as urgent, but it was every bit as intense. They necked pretty hot and heavy for a long time. When they finally broke, Sarah's eyes were shinning. "Thank you, sweetie," she whispered. "I know that wasn't easy for you. I really, really appreciate it."

"I don't think that it was nearly as hard as you telling me about your mom," Chuck said. "Trust me, I appreciated that every bit as much. So anything I can do to make you feel comfortable, that's what I want to do. Let's face it, we both have hang ups. Maybe it's time we helped each other and met half way."

That changed the mood in the room and got Sarah grinning again. "Okay," she said. "I can go half way. I think we're currently on your half. You appear to have me naked and helpless in a strange man's bed. What's your next order?"

Sarah couldn't keep in the laugh at the look on his face. "Hey," she teased. "You're the one with the rock hard weapon. That puts you completely in charge. I told you that I'd do anything you asked." She paused again. "On second thought, I think I can guess."

Sarah began to kiss her way down Chuck's neck.

It was a long while before Chuck could finally speak. "Umm, Sarah," he, well, protested isn't the right word, but still. "I'm admittedly not the expert. But I don't think this is the approved way to make a baby."

Sarah paused her activities for a moment to look up and grin at him. "We'll get back to work on that soon enough," she teased. "All work and no play isn't healthy. You know that. Then there's also the public safety issue to consider. I'm no longer a spy. But even for a normal person it would be reckless to have this huge weapon sitting here all ready to explode. I need to quickly disarm it before it hurts someone. Any objections?"

"No ma'am."

Sarah's grin got even bigger. "Good," she said. "Besides, Carina's right. And you know how competitive I am."

"I still have some closing to do."

x-x-x-x-x

Even though they were no longer spies, they still had all of the skills. So they were in position well in advance and spotted him coming from a mile away. Carina was right. Decker really didn't suspect anything was amiss. In fact he seemed rather giddy. Chuck was pretty sure it was at the prospect of watching Agent Walker's sex tape.

That earned him a playful, yet not gentle, punch in the arm complete with an, again not so gentle, reminder. "Agent Walker no longer exists," she said with a grin. "He's clearly looking forward to the prospect of watching a Sara Smile sex tape."

"Yeah, because that makes it so much better," Chuck said as he rubbed his sore arm vigorously. "Not that I'm defending him in any way, but he's probably not alone in that single characteristic."

Naturally Casey was sensitive to their playful banter in his earpiece. "Will you two shut up?" he asked harshly. "Maybe it's better that you quit being spies. You suck at it." He, at least, was taking zero chances. He was hidden in sniper position with Decker's left ear in his crosshairs, basically praying for a chance to squeeze the trigger. In fact, his idea of how to handle this crisis was much more straight forward. Shoot Decker, dispose of the body, and let them spend the next few years trying to figure out what happened to him. Surprisingly, Chuck even considered it for a while. But ultimately they needed Decker alive. After all, apparently Shaw was the real threat. For the time being they needed information more than they needed revenge.

If Decker was surprised that it was Sarah on that bench waiting for him instead of Jones, he didn't show it. In fact his smirk clearly said that he was looking forward to her formal surrender. "Agent Walker," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "What a nice surprise."

Sarah had no reason to be cordial… so she wasn't. "What they say about you is true," she said. "Agent Walker no longer exists. You're the one who issued the order. If you must address me, I think I prefer Mrs. Bartowski."

That got Decker grinning. "Okay, Mrs. Bartowski," he said. "Not much for pleasantries I see. Do you have the tape?"

"I do not," Sarah said. "I came here to give you a chance to tell me what is really going on here. Perhaps we can work something out."

Decker's grin didn't fade a bit. "I was kinda hoping you'd say something like that," he said. "I guess you're not as protective of that simpleton husband of yours as I was led to believe. You're actually willing to watch him be destroyed? Fine. Works for me."

Chuck stepped out of his hiding place holding a pistol. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to insist that you address me properly," he said. "That's Mr. Simpleton to you."

In spite of the tense situation, Sarah couldn't keep in the very wet laugh.

"One last time," Chuck said. "Give up and talk to us."

"You're even stupider than you look," Decker said. "You're pointing a weapon at a federal officer. I'll see you in prison."

Now it was Chuck's grin that didn't fade a bit. "I was kinda hoping you'd say something like that," he said. He fired twice. The gun made its classic hissing sound as the darts hit Decker in the chest. He quickly began to collapse. "And you seriously think that I'm stupid?" He turned to his wife who was still grinning. "What was that thing about people who live in glass houses? Full disclosure. I rather enjoyed that. But it doesn't mean that I still want to be a spy. I don't. Please don't get that thought back in your head. Agreed?"

That got Sarah grinning ever broader. "Agreed," she said.

"Enough with the monkey business," Casey's voice came through their earpieces. "Let's secure this guy."

"I guess even Casey is right sometimes," Chuck teased.

"Let's see if Sarah Bartowski is at good at interrogation as Agent Walker was.

x-x-x-x-x


	10. The Singer and the Mom

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

_I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

**The Singer and the Mom**

x-x-x-x-x

"Damn!" Decker screamed. "That hurt. Come on, Agent Walker. Do you really think that a tazer is going to get me to talk?"

"Not really," Sarah said with a grin. They had him in the classic torture position, mostly naked, strung up by his arms, in an ice cold room. "This is just for fun," she continued. "Consider it a warm up for the main event. I enjoy watching the way your fingers twitch when the electricity is flowing." She moved the gun closer. "By the way," she said. "It would be smart to address me as ma'am. Calling me Agent Walker is a rather hot button for me. It just earned you another extra long dose of voltage."

"Sonofabitch!" Decker yelled as soon as he regained control after the current stopped flowing through his helpless body. "I'll see you in prison, you bitch."

"Maybe," Sarah agreed. "It's entirely possible. But I seriously doubt it. From where I'm standing we have three options to avoid that. I'd suggest that you listen very carefully because it's the only time I'm going to offer them."

"Option A," Sarah said. "We have nothing to lose. So after you inevitably tell us what we want to know, we kill you, dispose of the body in some creative way, and nobody ever knows what happened. They'll start an investigation. They'll look for a while. But agents disappear all the time. Without a body, they'll eventually conclude that you just scored a big illegal payday somehow and dropped off the grid. You and I both know that it happens about once a week. Even if they did have reason to suspect us, there would be no way to prove anything."

"Option B," Sarah continued. "Is pretty much the same. Except you hold out for a while and I get to make you beg me to allow you to die. I'm really hoping that this is the option you pick. Not to belabor the point, but I don't care for you very much. You caused my husband some serious pain. Threatening my marriage is a particularly offensive capital offense. So seeing you broken and begging to die would be a definite bit-o-fun for me. I really haven't done this in a while. I fear that I might be a little rusty. Being with Chuck has made me a better person. But make no mistake. I'll do anything… emphasis on anything, to protect him. So I'm a little torn on my next move. The ammonia injection is painful enough… burning to death from the inside. Once it starts kicking in, you'll tell me anything I want to know to get me to kill you quickly and stop the pain. We both know that's true. But I like it more when I can take an active part. So I'm thinking we start with clipping off your testicles one at a time. Let's face it. It might hurt like hell, but I don't think you'll miss them all that much. I seriously doubt that a 'man' like you could get a woman into a position where testicles could come into play anyway. If you aren't broken after that? Who knows what I'll think of next?"

Sarah glared at him as she allowed her words to sink in for a moment. "Option C," she finally continued. "Honestly my least favorite. You tell us why you're working for Daniel Shaw, what he's really after, and help us end him. You actually get to live… which I'm sure you can imagine, makes it my least favorite. But it is probably the best one for you. You can thank my husband for putting it on the table. He's a much nicer person than I am. Naturally for this offer to be valid, you'd have to give us some information that we could verify. He's nice… but he's not stupid."

Sarah unleashed a spinning back kick that landed directly in the middle of Decker's gut. The force of the blow caused him to leave his feet and sway like a pendulum suspended by his arms for a moment. Sarah felt compelled to state the plainly obvious. "I really don't like you," she said.

"I'll give you an hour to choose."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck was waiting for her in the observation room. "Nice piece of 'bad cop' playing," he said with a grin. "I'm thinking that he truly believes that you don't like him."

Sarah wasn't quite ready to laugh about this. "I don't like him," she said. "He's right about that."

Chuck's grin grew even broader. "Nice house," he said. "It looks like something you would pick out. Care to tell me why your safe house has a soundproof interrogation room? I assume this isn't the first time it's been used."

Sarah looked at the floor for a long moment. But to her credit, she finally forced herself to look him in the eye. "It's not the first time," she admitted. "Not close. I was once known as The Enforcer. Look, some of those stories are going to be painful for me to tell you. But it's what a wife owes her husband. I'll hide nothing from you. I promise. But could we maybe wait until we get home and do it when we have more time?"

Chuck opened his arms in clear invitation… one the Sarah eagerly accepted. "It's not going to be painful," he said. "You'll see. I promise. You'd better get moving. The band is waiting for you to rehearse. Who knows what will happen if you leave Lester in charge? We may turn into a heavy metal band."

"Chuck," Sarah said softly. "Please be careful. I know that you want to play good cop. I'm not trying to lecture you. But this guy is dangerous."

"Casey is here," Chuck teased. "He's as anxious to shoot this guy in the head as you are. Besides, explain something to me. If you were ever to try and lecture me, what would that look like exactly?"

Sarah still wasn't ready to make this a joke. "I was a different person back then," she said sadly. "You wouldn't have liked me. You've changed me."

Chuck just squeezed her tight. "You really need to stop thinking like that," he said firmly. "Young Sarah Walker was a bulldog. She dedicated her life to being the very best, to serve something larger than herself. Why wouldn't I like her? Sarah Bartowski is still that bulldog. She is still driven to be the very best, to serve something larger than herself. It's just that now that something larger is being a wife and mother. That's every bit as noble. You're not a different person at all, especially one I wouldn't like. Get that thought out of your head. You were amazing then. You're amazing now."

That finally got something of a smile. "Sweet talker," Sarah said. "I know you. You're angling to see the bedroom. Too bad we don't have time for an impregnation attempt."

"I assume that will have been the first time the bedroom's been used," Chuck teased.

That finally got them laughing. Sarah didn't answer. She just pressed her lips to his firmly.

"Are you two about done?" Casey growled.

"We're supposed to be torturing Decker, not me."

x-x-x-x-x

Thankfully Sarah's safe house wasn't very far from the hotel. So she walked into the conference room that had been set up as a makeshift studio just a couple of minutes late. The band was already there warming up. Chuck had always encouraged them to spend a few minutes improvising at the beginning of their sessions. And truthfully, they were getting quite good.

The wives usually didn't attend their practice sessions. But with them being on the road, there probably wasn't anything better for them to do. And Sarah had always made it a point to be very friendly with them. So she walked up to where they were standing with a friendly smile. "Where's Lester?" she asked.

It was Marcy who answered. She was the vocal one of the gaggle. And she was nice enough. Sarah had caught her checking out Chuck's ass more than once. But if it never went beyond that she could probably bite her tongue. And Sarah had to admit, it was a very nice ass. "That's what we were just talking about," Marcy said. "One of us is going to have to go up there and get him. Frankly none of us is looking forward to it."

That surprised Sarah… and it showed. "Why?" she asked.

Marcy was clearly hesitant, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "Don't get me wrong," she finally said. "I don't want to offend you. We're so grateful for this opportunity. It was such a struggle trying to make a living in this business. And the band is really clicking. We're suddenly being more successful than our wildest hopes. And that's totally because of you. Everybody gets that. So if you need us to keep him entertained, well, I guess that's the price we're willing to pay."

Suddenly Sarah was seeing red as what Marcy was saying sunk in. "Don't worry about offending me," she said. "Tell me what's going on in plain English. Is Lester hitting on you?"

Sarah didn't need to hear the answer. It was written all over her face. "Sonofabitch," she muttered. "Girls, you don't have to put up with any foolishness from Lester. Trust me on something."

"I'm going to take care of this."

x-x-x-x-x

"You've really pissed her off."

Chuck was making no effort to keep the smirk from showing as he faced Decker. "Frankly it's not all that hard. I've done it myself a few times. She's been known to be a bit fiery. But I have to admit, you've raised her to a new level that I've never seen in a few years. I'd congratulate you. But that seems a bit odd. She really, really wants to deal with you herself. I had a hard time talking her out of it. I'm a little on the squeamish side of these things. Although, I must admit. If I was ever going to make an exception about watching someone being tortured to death, you seem to be the logical candidate. If I was you, I'd tell me something that I can use. Otherwise…"

Decker was not impressed. "Do you really think that I don't know about good cop, bad cop?" he asked sarcastically.

There was no waiver in Chuck's grin. "Of course," he said. "You know all about the tactic. Nobody denies that. Hell, you've probably played both roles yourself. You're right. I'm in here as the good cop to offer you a choice. But the question you should be asking yourself is… how credible is the bad cop? Are you willing to risk what she is going to do… and for what? To protect Daniel Shaw? I'd rather settle this with a minimum of bloodshed. That's my style. If you cooperate, Sarah will listen to me. But make no mistake. Daniel Shaw is not going to be allowed to threaten my family. If that means you die in some grotesquely painful way, well that's your choice. I wouldn't be able to stop her. And quite frankly, I wouldn't try. Your thinking anything else will be a short sighted and fatal miscalculation. So I'll try this one last time."

"Tell me something."

x-x-x-x-x

If Lester was surprised that it was Sarah who was pounding on his door, he didn't show it. He didn't invite her in, he just moved out of the way.

Sarah wasn't having a very good day in general. Chuck was off dealing with Decker on his own. That alone had her on edge. Dealing with this ridiculous drama with a prima donna Lester wasn't what she needed. Her initial instinct was to simply kick his ass around the room until he was pleading for mercy. But she also knew that if she started that in her current mood it might just be fun enough to quickly get out of hand. If that happened, there likely wouldn't be enough of him left to autopsy. So she forced a calming breath as she entered the suite, the same one that she had just been in a few hours ago under very different circumstances.

Lester was making no effort to hide the fact that he was snorting a line of cocaine from the glass coffee table in front of the couch he had guided her to. In fact… "Want a hit?" he asked as he wiped his nose. "It's very good stuff. It cost me a mint."

This wasn't the time or place for a lecture on the dangers of recreational drug use. Besides, Lester was an adult. And he probably wasn't the only one. So Sarah just shook her head. "No thank you," she said.

That got Lester grinning. "Come on," he said. "Seriously. You can't honestly be this uptight. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. I see you bouncing around the stage wearing next to nothing. Your nickname is 'the sexist thing on two legs.' Are you really telling me that you've never tried a line of coke? Maybe you should loosen up and live a little."

Sarah stared at Lester for a long time trying to decide how honest to be. In fact, she had tried cocaine. It was a mandatory part of CIA Training preparing you to be in the field. It was apparently the recreational drug of choice for slime ball bad guys and a favorite tactic to get women to 'loosen up', for much the same, but perhaps less sinister, reason Lester was currently going for. The experience at the Academy frankly scared Sarah to death. She instantly realized that she loved, loved, loved the feeling. It wasn't hard to figure out the attraction and why people became so dependant on it that everything else in their lives took second place. It took away every care in the world. Sarah recognized right away that this was a potential trap for her. She would be very vulnerable to being exploited while under the influence and consequently stayed away from it like the plague. "I've tried it," she finally said. "I don't like it." After all, that could be spun as mostly the truth.

Clearly Lester was in that 'not a care in the world' phase. Because he slid closer to her than would be appropriate. "Tell me," he said as he leaned in even closer. "How is our affair going to work?"

Sarah's protest that they had ruled out a pretend romance between them died on her lips. She looked down and saw his hand resting on her left breast. Normally, anybody not named Chuck so overtly groping her chest might have spawned a three state killing spree. But for all of the real drama of the day, for some reason this seemed more ridiculous than anything. Fortunately she was wearing a bra. So she fought back the snicker at the total lameness of the move… and answered his question with one of her own. "How do you think it's going to work?" she asked.

Clearly Lester wasn't expecting that response. "I don't know," he sheepishly admitted. "Maybe we can work on it."

For some ridiculous reason, that also struck Sarah as funny. "Let's work on it," she agreed. "The way I see it, it can go one of two ways. The first is fairly safe. The second is pretty dangerous. Let's start with the safe one."

Lester maybe wasn't sure where this was going. But wherever it was, he was really liking it. So he just kept his hand where it was and nodded.

"Okay," Sarah said. "Safe. You take your hand off my chest right away, sincerely apologize, make damn sure that nothing of the sort ever, ever happens again, and I might be able to pretend that it was simply a misunderstanding between friends. That leads us to the dangerous way. You keep your hand where it is for one more second, continue to cop your pathetic feel, and watch helplessly while I break your arm in three places. Then I tell Chuck what his 'friend' just tried behind his back and I watch while he repeatedly kicks your ass around the room… and if I know Chuck, starts immediately looking for a new lead vocalist."

Lester maybe was wired. He perhaps didn't currently have all of his wits about him. But he was certainly lucid enough to get Sarah's meaning. He removed his hand from her chest like it was on fire. "I thought that's what you wanted," he said. "I understand that you were up here earlier looking for me."

Naturally any suggestion that Sarah would ever want to cheat on Chuck had her quickly bristling. She started to explain what happened here with her and Chuck earlier… then thought better of it. It would have been hard to explain in a way that could possibly help this situation. And after taking a deep breath or two, she started to calm down a little. This wasn't his fault, at least not totally. The pretend romance idea had always been stupid. It had sent Lester some mixed signals. Sarah made a mental note to make that point to Chuck very clearly tonight with zero ambiguity as to her position on the subject. But how to get through to Lester? Scaring him with the grotesquely painful removal of a testicle would simply put a strain on the band. Then it hit her. She wanted to be a mom. Maybe it was time to start acting like it. "Come on, Lester," she said softly. "Chuck's your friend. Do you really think I would ever consider actually cheating on him? For a publicity stunt? Really?"

Lester just stared at her silently.

"I get that being famous is new for you," Sarah continued. "It's new for all of us. The wild parties, the women throwing themselves at you, the having money to buy pretty much anything you want, I get that those things are intoxicating. It's a classic kid in a candy store. I wouldn't expect you to not develop a tummy ache or two along the way."

Sarah paused for a moment to gauge his reaction. When she was satisfied that he was paying attention, she continued. "But, sweetie, you just have to handle it better. For one thing, at this pace, you'll be a dead old man by the time you're forty. If you use recreational drugs or not is your choice. It's really none of my business. I get that. But you have to respect the band enough to never do it when we're supposed to be working. And more important, the women that are forced to be around you shouldn't have to worry that you are constantly coming on to them. So understand something. You have more than your fair share of women to have sex with. There are women that are completely off limits to you. I am at the top of that list. Ellie is second. The wives and family of anybody associated with the band are also on the list. Understood?"

Lester's nod was more fear than acceptance. But that was fine. Sarah sorta liked it when people were afraid of her. "I'm going to help you with this," she said.

Lester finally found his voice. "You're going to help me?" he asked.

"Yup," Sarah said. "If I want to be a mom, maybe I'll practice on you. Until further notice, you're grounded."

Lester did a double take. "Grounded?" he asked. "What does that mean?"

"No more parties," Sarah said firmly. "You're going to spend the nights after concerts alone in your room until you've convinced me that you understand proper social conduct."

That got Sarah grinning again. "I like your attitude," she said. "I want to hear from Chuck and every one of the wives that you've apologized to them for your bad behavior and assured them nothing of the sort will ever happen again. Come see me once you've done that and we'll talk."

"Now we're late for rehearsal."

x-x-x-x-x


End file.
